


Gideon's Perfectly Broken Little Toy

by Jason_Silver



Series: Kiss Me Kill Me, Hurt Me Heal Me [1]
Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: Abandonment Issues, BDSM, Caning, Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, Drowning, Gideon is not a nice man, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Kidnapping, M/M, Mentions of Past Murders, Mind Games, No Spoilers, Power Play, Psychological Torture, Rape/Non-con Elements, Reid is held captive, Riding Crops, Sexual Slavery, Victim!Reid, Writing on the Body, belt whipping, lots of emotions, no beta we die like men, reference to self harm scars, unsub!Gideon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-23
Updated: 2020-11-24
Packaged: 2021-03-09 05:54:44
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 15
Words: 32,404
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27158930
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jason_Silver/pseuds/Jason_Silver
Summary: Spencer is so excited when he hears Jason Gideon is going to guest lecture at his college but the last thing he expects is for Gideon to find him at a cafe after the lecture and actually sit down to talk with him. Well really the last thing Spencer expects is to get kidnapped by Gideon.Warning: discussions of past self harm and child abuse. Gideon is not a nice man. Scroll to the end of chapter notes for spoilery breakdown of anything triggering in the chapter.
Relationships: Jason Gideon/Spencer Reid
Series: Kiss Me Kill Me, Hurt Me Heal Me [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2025119
Comments: 38
Kudos: 127





	1. You Are the Reason I'm Smiling

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to my 'I just binged too much Criminal Minds and had to write disturbing porn about it' fic. Unedited and written by a dyslexic. 
> 
> Spoiler trigger warnings in the end notes. 
> 
> Enjoy.

If Spencer had know it was going to be his first time I'd have prepared a little more, maybe showered or shaved or something.

If he’d know it was going to be the last day he would see somethingoutside of Jason Gideon secluded cabin in the woods he probably would have tried to spend it more productively. Like visit the ocean or eat at the one Mexican place in town that make the enchiladas just right. But then hindsight is 2020 and even young geniuses don’t know everything.

When Spencer hears that Jason Gideon is coming to guest lecture at the graduate criminal phycology class he isn't the only undergrad who is in professor Buchtch’s office BEGGING to shadow that day, just to be allowed to stand in the back and hear Gideon speak. Of course Gideon will also be giving a lecture on the BAU which the whole school can attend but the one he gives to the grad students is sure to go deeper. Spencer beams knowing he's one of the few the prof let in (although given he's been secretly taking the class on the side he can’t say he’s surprised).

It's a brilliant lecture, of course Spencer has read all his paper, and re-read most of them that afternoon, but he's blow away but how Gideon crafts lecture around borderline personality disorder killers with out making it seem like BPD just lead naturally leads to a high chance of becoming a serial killer. He talks about media sensation playing into stereotypes and the multitude of times killers without BPD have been mislabeled because of a fundamental misunderstand of mental illness. But Gideon talks candidly about they aspects of BPD that when paired with a stressor and lack of treatment can be disastrous. Spencer is floored, and that doesn’t happen every day, and he gets in as many questions as he feels like one should be allowed (3) but afterwards when everyone rushes forward to talk with Gideon one on one he hangs back. Spencer knows he's impressive, probably more impressive than any boring student Gideon is grudgingly talking to, but he hate crowds and he know if he gets talking he won't be able to stop and he'll just make a total fool of himself. Besides if he gets any closer to the man he might have to examine why his mind started supplying statistics on why young men without strong father figures in their lives end up deeply attracted to older nurturing men.

Spencer buries himself in books and coffee at the Starbucks on campus. If he had any friends they’d probably make fun of him for it but a. Starbucks is the only place that will allow him to put as much sugar as he wants in his coffee without judgment and b. no one comes here to sit very long so he's got the pick of the tables. He loves the window seat.

So when there's a commotion of people coming in he doesn't even look up, he's already so deep into a book taking notes on how to use Gideon's arguments and apply it to schizophrenia. It isn't a paper he's going to publish or something, this kind of thing he likes to keep to himself for himself. Maybe he’ll share it with his mom. He feels a small pang of guilt at the fact that he hasn’t so more than exchange letter with her since she was committed. 

He doesn't even hear someone approaching he only looks up when they sit down fully ready to glare them away but his glare turn to complete shock when he sees Jason Gideon has just pulled up a chair and is very obviously reading his notes upside-down.

"I see someone took my rambling very seriously." Spencer felt a blush creeping up his face. He could see the pack of groupies who'd followed Gideon in lurking in the background eyeing daggers at him. He stuttered out something about how well crafted Gideon’s lecture was but halfway through the sentence it dies in his mouth as he realizes the man was joking.

"Paper for a class?" Gideon ask taps his note pad. Spencer shakes his head and adds.

"Just my own research."

"You're undergraduate right?"

"Yes but I want to get my Masters in criminal phycology."

"Trying to get a bit of a head start hu?" Gideon winks at him and leans back in his chair. The conversation springs from there and although Spencer stumbles over his words and sometimes rambles a bit Gideon is perfectly happy to sit there and listen. It's almost intoxicating having someone like Gideon take him seriously, not once does he mention his age or talk down to him. It's like talking to an equal and Spencer finds himself really digging down deep into his knowable to try and impress the man. Even sharing some of his own theories on where the field of criminal phycology is headed next. Gideon in return regales him with stories of unsubs, even some he’s never published on. Spencer just soaks it all in.

They talk for so long that a vicious growl from his stomach is the only thing that makes them stop and look at the time. He doesn't want Gideon to go but it feels like a natural end point. The older man stands and then extends his hand out to Spencer.

"Why don't we go back to my hotel room, there's room service and I want to get your opinion on my next paper."

Spencer is stunned just staring at Gideon's outstretched hand. His mind is running through their whole conversation trying to figure out how he’d impressed the man enough to think he was worthy to look over his work. He realizes he’s already 10 minuets late for his next class. Spencer Reid only ever missed on day of school and that was when he was 8. He just grabs Gideon's hand and allows himself to be pulled out of the coffee shop.

He'd been so focused on the research and the talk but having Gideon touch him finally brings all those throughs that he'd shoved down to the surface. Spencer know's intellectually that given his lack of father figure it makes perfect sense he'd be intensely attracted to someone like Gideon, older, nurturing. But now that he's allowed himself to think those thoughts, how perfect Gideon's large hands would feel on him, what it would be like to kneel in front of him and take his cock, what it would be like to have Gideon inside of him on top of him, he can't seem to think of anything else.

There's only one chair in the room and Gideon flops down on it sorting through the paper strewn across the small desk. Spencer hovers in the doorway now completely at a loss with what to do with himself. It's so intimate, he’d have to squeeze around Gideon to get anywhere. 

"Sit." He commands and Spencer just stars at where he gestured towards the bed. He gulps but before he can talk himself out of it or think about the germs that most hotel sheets hold he wedges past Gideon and perches on the corner of the bed clutching his shoulder bag like a life line. Gideon looks up at him and smiles putting down the manuscript.

"Don't look so nervous kid."

"I'm not a kid." It slips out automatically but it makes Gideon's smile widen and Spencer looks down biting his lip. It all happens so fast, he looks up and Gideon is towering above him. His mind feels like it's short circuiting because all he can think about is -

And then Gideon leans down and takes his chin in his hand forcing Spencer to look up.

"Is this okay?" He breaths out, voice suddenly dark and husky. Spencer nods mutely because oh God it's so much more than okay. The kiss is soft and chaste. He's never kissed anyone before and he's not sure if he's doing it right but when he kisses back he can feel Gideon's gentle smile under his lips. tentatively, afraid this is all on big joke and any moment now he'll get thrown to the ground and laughed at, Spencer brings his hand up. He wants to tangle it in Gideon's short cropped hair and pull him closer but he isn't brave enough yet so he just rested it on the back of Gideon's neck.

Gideon gently pushes him down and Spencer, getting the idea, scoots further up the bed, his legs fall apart naturally and Gideon slots himself between them. He can feel Gideon's cock, a hard line digging into his thigh. Gideon pushes him even further back and finally breaks the kiss. He’s kneeling on the bed now, arms bracketing the sides of Spencer's head, Spencer's legs flung wide to accommodate him.

"Do you want this?" Gideon's breath is hot on his cheek. Spencer nods again for once in his life truly out of words.

"Say it." Gideon traces his lips parting them.

"Please sir." Spencer startles himself by letting it slip out and his eyes go wide. He hadn't meant the deferential title to slip out like that, not in this context, but Gideon's eyes go wide with lust and before he can apologies he's being kissed again. This time it's full of hunger and promise, Gideon bites his lip and Spencer cries out. Gideon makes quick work of the button's on Spencer's shirt reveling his chest, he doesn't even give Spencer a chance to be self conscious before he's kissing down his Chets, hands mapping it out, grabbing and nipping lightly.

Spencer's shaking and Gideon glances up at him again. He doesn't know how to do this, I mean he understands the mechanics of it all, he's read about it in books, he knows what gay sex should look like, but he's never even experimented on himself. What if it won't fit, what if he's not good at this, what if ...

Gideon comes back and cups his face again.

"Hey hey, talk to me kid, what's going on in that beautiful brain of yours?"

Spencer blinks up at him.

"I haven't ... I don't know how ... I never do this before." He whispers. Now surely Gideon won't want him. He swallows thickly realizing the moment this might all go away just how badly he wants it."Please, please let me try." His hands find Gideon's belt and fumbles with it.

"Shush." He guides Spencer's hands away form his belt and undoes it himself. Gideon slips out his shirt and Spencer tries to sit up to do the same but Gideon pushes him back down. "Let me." The last buttons are undone and Gideon lets him up to to shrug off the button up and vest. He looks down at Spencer and Spencer looks away afraid of what the older man will think of him. He's skinny and not in an attractive lithe way, he doesn't eat enough and he's not strong. He's pale with little bits of patchy hair growth. And then there's the scars.

He can feel Gideon tracing over the ones of his chest. The burn on his shoulder, the criss cross. Spencer flinches when Gideon reaches down his arm to trace the neat lines there. He told himself it was an experiment, he's wanted to understand why people did that kind of thing to themselves. Now he understood alright. When his mom had found out she hadn't screamed at him like he through she would, she'd made him promise to never do it again and then threw out every razor in the house.

Shame burns deep in his stomach. He's just some broken boy, Gideon definitely won't want him now.

Gideon forces him to look up again and when he sees the tears pricking in the corners of Spencer's eyes he coos softly.

"You're beautiful." Gideon breaths but Spencer isn't fool enough to believe that. He tries to shrink away from the other man's touch but Gideon's weight on him is too much. He can't run and hide like he wants to. "It's okay Spence, it's okay." Gideon's hands on him are heavy and they press him down not allowing him to move. "I'm going to take such good care of you. You’re such a special boy" Gideon kisses him again and all Spencer can do is kiss back desperately and hope it's enough that Gideon will let him stay. "What are you afraid of Spencer?" Gideon asks when they brake the kiss. Spencer swallows thickly, he's a profiler, he'll know if Spencer lies. 

"Please, please don't make me leave." He whines out. "I know I'm not ... I don’t have any experience and I’m not attractive but ... please don't stop.-" A thought comes to him as he replays the moment he accidentally called Gideon 'sir' and the change in the man's body language. "Please sir." He looks up at Gideon eyes wide and scared. He can see the exact moment Gideon's brain processes that word. He almost transforms, his gentle touch turns to possessive grip and this time when he kisses Spencer it's all dominance and aggression and Spencer just sinks into it. He flings his arms around Gideon trying to press him closer and closer and closer.

"Do you want me inside you boy?" Gideon growls above him.

"Yes yes, oh god yes." Spencer bucks his hips up trying to get a hand between them to get ride of his horribly uncomfortable pants.

"Yes what?" Gideon chines yanking his hands above his head and pinning him there.

"Yes Sir!" Spencer gasps out. Gideon grins like a wolf above him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Waring: There's a few lines about Spencer remembering how he started self harming. And Gideon sees the scars from child abuse.
> 
> Comments always appreciated!


	2. I Want to Get Lost in You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gideon POV 
> 
> Spoiler trigger warnings in the end notes.

Gideon always loved looking out at the crowd of expected faces, eager students hanging on his every word. He doesn't often notice individual faces, even when people ask questions, but when a slender hand goes up and he calls on him his eyes focus on the boy. His hair is tousled, one hand is in the air while the other is still scribbling down notes. He's dressed like a professor, vest over his dark blue button up and leather shoulder bag slung over the back of his chair, but he's far far far too young. High school maybe? He doesn't have long to wonder why some high school kid is crashing the 3rd year graduate lecture because the question that come out of this young man's mouth is so complex and insightful he has to take a moment to collect his thoughts before answering.

After the lecture is over he's mobbed like usual with all sorts of questions and debates. He cranes his neck to see if perhaps the boy will approach but he just catches sight of his back as he heads out the door. It's too bad, he'd have really like to take the boy somewhere more private to talk.

When he see's the boy from the cafe window he think to himself he can't ignore fate, especially if it's going to put someone as intellectually rigors as this young man in front of him.

He learns his name is Spencer Reid. He learns he is a genius. He learns he blushes the most amazing shade of red when ever he's complimented. When Gideon reaches out his hand and Spencer takes it he swears to himself all he's planing to do is utilize the brilliant mind before to look over his research but the way Spencer's entire body reacts to that simple touch ... he know's he won't be able to resist it.

When Gideon has him all spread out on his bed like he wants him he learns the boy is special, the way he reacts to every touch, the way his arms tentatively wind their way around Gideon. He's very special and Gideon is already thinking about reasons to visit this college again in the future. When Spencer calls him Sir it's all he can do to stop from taking the boy then and there, but he wants this to be gentle he wants it to be good for Spencer.

It isn't until he see Spencer’s scars that he knows he's going to take him home with him. The boy begging him to stay, the pleading, calling him sir again. It's all icing on the cake.

He has Spencer as many times as the poor boy can handle. He's all eager and messy and he comes before Gideon is even inside him but that suits Gideon just fine, he knows how to work the boy up again. Spencer cries out when Gideon finally manages to loosen him up enough to thrust his way in and he’s hard again almost instantly. The advantages of youth. He looks so vulnerable underneath Gideon, twitching and moaning. Spencer comes again before Gideon is even half way there. Gideon slows but he's loathe to depart from Spencer's amazing tight hole. He can feel the boy spasm around him coming untouched this time, shouting Gideon's name to the ceiling. He pauses letting the boy breath, Spencer looks up at him through hooded eye.

"Keep going Sir." He pleads. Gideon starts slow again, Spencer fighting back cries as Gideon works his over sensitive hole. Gideon kisses him as he speeds up his pace till he can feel every termer and whimper and cry. When he pulls back he can see Spencer is close to tears and he really should stop, maybe make the boy finish him off with his pretty mouth, but Spencer wraps his legs around him pushing Gideon in deeper as the tears begin to fall. "Please don't stop." He cries. And so help him Gideon couldn't stop if he wanted to.

Spencer comes one last time forcing Gideon over the edge as he clenches around him. Gideon isn't surprised when the boy practically passes out. He's lucid enough to take some water and allow himself to be moved and cleaned, but the second Gideon tucks him back into the bed he's fast asleep. And that suits Gideon just fine.

When Spencer wakes up Gideon is already all pack, he's move everything into the rental car save one discreet bottle of water on the bedside table. This next part is tricky, it's where the most can go wrong. Subconsciously he'd made sure to avoid the obvious areas with cameras when he'd taken Spencer to the hotel, they'd come in though the back, but it still wouldn't do to have the local authorities come knocking. He's disabled the boys phone and would have to hope he'd assume it ran out of charge. The drugs would take 10 minuets to have the full effect so he need to get the timing just right. Spencer needed to be full cognisant when he stepped into the car but out before he realized they weren't headed back to the dorms.

Spencer sits up a little wincing and Gideon kneels down next to the bed. The boy gives him a sheepish smile.

"Sorry I fell asleep on you." He's looking down in that wonderfully submissive way of his and Gideon just wants to take him again. Be he doesn't have time and besides Spencer is clearly too sore for that.

"God you were wonderful Spence." The boy looks up at him so desperate for approval. Gideon allows himself a moment to bask in it before saying.

"I'm so sorry darling but if I don't get going soon I'll miss my flight, get dressed and I can drop you off before I leave."

Once Spencer has put himself back together enough to face the outside world, his shirt is still a little untucked and buttons all eschew but Gideon loves it so he doesn't say anything. He gives the water bottle a covert shake and passes it to Spencer. "Drink up you must be thirsty."

And by the gods Spencer drowns the whole bottle in one gulp.

Partially because he didn't count on Spencer drinking it so fast and partially because he over dosed him do to unbercalulating his weight Spencer starts to stumble a little just as they reach the car. Gideon helps him up in the seat and straps him in for good measure. Spencer mumbles something about always being clumsy but Gideon is too focused on the task at hand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Gideon knocks Spencer out with poison, mentions of Spencer's scars again.


	3. Genius Extraordinaire,

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just a short update ;)   
> TW: Knock out drugs and kidnapping.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Spencer POV

The moment Spencer Reid, genius extraordinaire, realizes something is wrong is when his phone won't turn on. His eidetic memories supplies that it was at 73% when he last checked before entering the hotel and it shouldn't be any lower that 52% now. He looks over Gideon who is focused intently on the road, he glances at the car door and sees it's locked. Spencer swallows thickly as his mind catches up to itself. This can't be happening. He blinks vision going blurry again. His grip tightens on the empty bottle in his hand. Out the window he can see they are headed in the opposite direction from the school.

This CAN'T be happening.

"You're going to wrong way." Spencer tries to say but his tongue feels like lead and the words don't come out right. Gideon spares him a glance and gives him a reassuring smile.

"Just relax Spence." He murmurs. "Don't fight it."

"Please."

Gideon reaches over and pushes him back into his seat his arm feels so heavy against Spencer, Gideon's fingers brush his eyelids closed and he doesn't have the strength to open them again.

"That's it Spence." Gideon's sounds like it’s far away. "We'll be home soon."


	4. The Cabin in the Woods

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gideon POV
> 
> Gideon takes Spencer home and thinks about his past victims.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Torture/rape mentioned

Spencer is still out when they reach the cabin. Gideon had to pull over a few times and check his pulse. He was little scared he might have doused him too much. But the boy is just sleeping. Of course there had been a bit of an awkward transition as he couldn't very well pull up to the rental car place to switch back into his vehicle with a clearly drugged collage student. Regrettably he'd had to stash the boy in an abandoned rest stop on the highway. He'd left him tied and gaged but when he came back Spencer was still out. Gideon knew better than to leave Spencer's clothes and bag at the rest stop, if he was right about the boy likely living alone and having few friends he might have days even weeks before someone reports him missing. still he knows his tech skills aren't up to par with Garcias and god forbid they somehow get the case. So Gideon spends the extra time at the rest stop to smash the phone to bits and flush them down the toilet.

No one knows about the cabin, not even his team. They don't know a lot about him. He likes to think this part of his life has nothing to do with his work and they don't need to know.

It started when we was still under Max Ryan's wing. To be able to abduct, hold, and ultimately kill a boy right under his mentors nose, well that was a power rush like he'd never known. At first it was just about that, the power and the planing. He'd wait for a case that he felt he could duplicate and manipulate. He'd make it perfect, same weapon, same MO, same victim type. But he could only get away with it once or twice with Max Ryan watching, he couldn't afford to get caught. It all became so much easier when Aaron Hotchner took over as lead of the FBI's BAU unit. Gideon got away with it six more times, each he'd have to wait till the precise moment when he'd figured the unsub out enough to copy him but the team wouldn't arrest him for another 24 hours. But by the sixth one Gideon had grown tired of copying someone else's MO. Everything before the murders itself was perfect, the planing and stacking and waiting, but the murders themselves weren't right. He was starting think maybe he didn't even like killing all that much.

The sixth one was named Adam Long, he'd had to hold him for four hours and torture him. It was his crowing jewel so to speak and so so so dangerous. He'd faked a headache and then drove straight to the unsub’s house. He'd used an untraceable drug to knock the stupid man out before he'd gotten to touch his news victim. It was easy from there, almost a formality to go through the torture and rape before timing the death just right to make it seem that the unsub was unraveling, which he was.

But it was in that moment when he'd worked himself up enough split Adam's poor hole open after hours of torture, when the boy beneath him couldn't even scream anymore, tears still coursing down his face, his lips bitten raw, his body twitching. He couldn't form words anymore or Gideon was sure he'd beg but sinking into that tight heat it was perfect. Gideon found his MO.

After that just copying another unsub wasn't going to satisfy him. He had to contend with reliving Adam's rape over and over and over, planing other murder but never committing them.

He threw himself into his work, catching people like him, and for a long time the praise of the team and their excited glances when he figures something out that they couldn't see were enough. It was enough power. It was enough.

And if he didn't know everything he did about killers he'd think he'd been able to get off it cold turkey. But he knew it wasn't enough. The kidnappings started a year ago, he'd done three in the last year, each high rick victims that no one would miss. He liked them a little broken already he'd found after he'd taken a prostitute home who had scars on his back from where his father hit him with a belt. He'd fallen so naturally to his knees, it was perfect, it was so easy to reignite that childhood trauma to make him sink into perfect submission. He was sad he'd have to kill them in the end but it wouldn't do to have them wondering off that telling the world what he'd done.

This was different. He hadn’t expected to find someone like Spencer so soon, there was no plan just a sudden and all consuming need to have Spencer Reid all to himself.

Gideon looked down at the sleeping form of the boy in his arms. He'd hold on to this one as long as he could. He already had some ideas about a shock collar and tracker and he knew a guy who could help him out discreetly. He'd decomposed the bodies of the other boys with chemicals, he hadn't dared to bring them home and although it was all rushed and it wasn't planed and he could so easily get caught, he brought Spencer home to his cabin that no one knew existed let alone it's location. He'd bury him in the yard when Spencer inevitably tried to escape, he told himself, as he chained Spencer's arms and legs to his bed.

The thick oak bedfram would be too heavy for the skinny kid to lift and his mind was already coming up with ways to keep him here, keep him safe, even in a weeks time when he had to go out on cases again. He wanted to hold on to Spencer as long as possible.


	5. Ache

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spencer wakes up in a strange place.
> 
> If I ever miss any trigger warnings or you think I should add something just let me know.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *rubs my evil gay hands together* now we can get to the good stuff.

Everything aches but in the most delicious way. He comes too slowly not wanting to leave the dream world where Gideon's hands are still on his body making his arch and writhe. He doesn't open his eyes yet because he can feel the bed next to him is cold. It was too much to expect the man to stay but he regretted never getting to read that paper, the least Gideon could have done was wake him and give his a ride back to -

Spencer sits bolt upright as the events play out perfectly in his head. His eyes fly open.

He's not in the hotel but that's the be expected, it isn't his dorm either. The bed is large and soft with a canopy other head. A few painting of birds line the cream colored walls. There's an antique writing desk in one corner and bookshelves fit to burst lining the other wall. Sunlight streams in through gauzy curtains.

And his arms and legs are chained to solid posts of the bed. Spencer examines the cuffs, they are high quality leather dyed black. There’s a soft interior that cushions his hands but they are too tight to slip off. Each on has its own padlock connecting the chains of his hand to the left bedpost and his feet to the the bottom bedpost. He pulls on them experimentally. He has enough slack that he could stand up but he wouldn’t get very far. And he’s very much naked.

There's the sound of someone busting around the kitchen coming from downstairs and he almost calls out but clamps his hand over his mouth at the last second. It's not like who ever it is down there is going to come save him. Panic starts to bubble up in him as statistics run wild in his head.

He's never absent from class so maybe one of his professors will report him missing because other than them he doesn't have any close friends and he'd fought so hard to get that single dorm ... his mom won't think anything of not hearing from him for months. Would any of his professors care? Every second that ticked by evidence was being lost, witnesses were forgetting what they might have seen. If it's over a week before someone reports him his chances of being found go from slim to almost none.

Besides who was going to suspect a FBI agent, Spencer certainly hadn't. It stung his ego more that is should have in this situation, he would like to think a profiler in training like him would be able to spot a killer. There was no way Gideon was carrying those kind of drugs by accident. He's either been watching Spencer or he was always prepared and given they'd gone back to a hotel rather than being abducted in the middle of the night when he stumbled home from the library it seemed like the latter.

He was going to die. There was about a .05% chance that he'd be found before Gideon killed him. Well that wasn't entirely accurate. He had no idea how long Gideon would keep him, maybe Gideon liked to torture-

He had to stop that train of though in its tracks or he was going into a fullon panic attack. He couldn't afford to have one right now or Gideon would see he was weak and probably just kill him anyways.

He went back thinking through every interacting. It was clear Gideon was gay and probably had a specific type that Spencer fit perfectly for him to risk taking him so publicly. Maybe he was a surrogate, which only increased his chances of ending up dead before he could formulate an escape plan. If he was he needed to figure out how to act perfectly and play into Gideon’s fantasy.

But it was likely Gideon would see right through that. Spencer knew he was smart but he hadn’t realized how smart. The man was adept at sitting back and letting the situation unfold. He must be somewhere on the genius scale to have passed FBI phyc evals well enough to form an entire unit dedicated to brining together the best profilers in the nation all while harboring the same sick mind that many of the men he hunted did.

Spencer felt his chances of escaping dwindling as he wondered if he’d just met the first person smarter than him.

With everything going on in his head he’d failed to notice that Gideon had entered the room. He leaned in the doorway face unreadable watching Spencer. The boy took a deep breath. Gideon knew he was smart, he hadn’t hidden that, but he didn’t know about his eidetic memory, or how fast he could read, two could play at this game.

“I didn’t think you were the kind of guy who rushed into this kind of thing.” Spencer tried to make his voice sound as even as possible but it squeaked a little and knew Gideon picked up on it because the corners of his mouth twitched like he was trying not to smile.

“You’re special.”

“I know.” Spencer couldn’t stop himself from retorting. He’s always been special. But special as in genius, and sometimes special as in maybe autistic, not special as in attracts highly intelligent serial killers.

Gideon walks over to the bed and Spence draws his knees up instinctively trying to make himself smaller. Gideon chuckles and reaches out to pat Spencer’s thighs, just to show him he can, then he draws his hand back and sits down on the bed.

“I suppose you have questions.” Gideon’s talking like they were just discussing a paper and not like Spencer is naked in front of him chained to the bed.

“I know you’re not going to let me go.”

As he talks Spencer tries to covertly move the sheets to cover himself but Gideon’s eye snap to the movement.

“Smart boy.” Gideon chuckles reaching over and dragging the sheet out of Spencer’s grasp. So it’s about power. Spencer isn’t in control of his own behavior not to blush but he figures he can use that to his advantage.

“Do you torture your victims?” Spencer looks up at him through his long lashes.

Gideon looks surprised but simply inclines his head yes. Spencer shakes a little as he physically tenses trying to quell the wave of fear in him.

“How long?” He can’t keep his voice from cracking.

“The longest was three days.”

So he’s had more than one victim, probably seven or eight. It would take some time to build up the skill set necessary to keep a man alive through torture that long. Not to mention the courage and planing to pull it off. But Spencer woke up in his bed not in some torture chamber. Gideon had fucked him consensually, and seemed to enjoy it, he hadn’t needed to. He could have slipped Spencer the drugs any time. They could have stayed up taking about the papers and then Gideon could have been seen by traffic cams dropping him off at the dorms. He could have easily broken into the ground floor window or knocked him on the back of the head in a dark ally.

It was a risk, a big risk, he’s never had his life rely on his own intelligence and basic profiling skills before. Spencer parted his legs a little.

“You don’t have to torture me to get what you want.”

Gideon stared at him clearly taken aback and Spencer had to fight his instinct to close his legs and scuttle further away from the killer. Gideon reached out and stroked his hand along Spencer leg, Spencer trembled under his touch.

“I wish that was all I wanted from you Spence.” Gideon smiled sadly. Once the wave of panic washed over him Spencer got his breathing back under control. Not all was lost. He still called him Spence. The first step was humanizing yourself in your captors eyes, make it harder to hurt you. He was already well on his way there. The next was compliance, feed the fantasy but not enough that he gets over excited and kills you. There wasn’t really a book on how to survive kidnap by serial killer, maybe if he got out alive he’s write one, but he could piece a scenario together from other stories he’d heard. Stockholm Syndrome was well studied but most people seemed to miss how it worked on the kidnappers to, victims where much more likely to make it out alive if they developed Stockholm.

“What do you need from me Gideon?” Need not want, frame it like he understands killers. He’d only been studying criminal phycology for a month now, he hadn’t read enough but he’s read more than most. He could do this. Figure out the fantasy, figure out how to make it work without killing him.

“What do you think?” Gideon sits back observing Spencer. Spencer felt like he was caught with his hand in the cookie jar, he knows I’m profiling him. Idiot, he’d managed to underestimate Gideon’s intelligence, which could be a fatal mistake.

Okay think. It’s about power. He’d fucked Spencer consensually before so maybe it wasn’t about him suffering? Maybe it was about … Spencer gulped as he remembered Gideon’s reaction to being called Sir. That fit with the power aspect. But he admitted he tortured his victims. So it was about suffering, eventually, but there was a game to play first. And he had to keep in mind it was likely Gideon hadn’t been stalking him. He wasn’t a victim of opportunity per say given there were much better ways Gideon could have kidnapped him. He said he was special. Special enough that Gideon would be getting a big kick out of dominating someone he saw as an intellectual. Power and suffering. 

“You need to have power over your victims. We usually associate stabbing with sexual impotence but since …” He stumbled as Gideon’s smile has Spencer remerging the way it felt to have the man inside him, remembering how he came three times. Remembering how Gideon had slowed down, maybe even been ready to stop before he begged him to keep going. “You probably use a knife because it allows you to be close but any improvised weapon would work as well. You probably start with your hands though. You like to hear them, to see and hear the evidence of the effect you’re having on them. In your daily life you’re quite powerful so I don’t think you’re trying to make up for some control you don’t have. ” And maybe he was feeling a little vindictive as he added. “Usually we think of poison as a women weapon, statistically they are weaker and unable to just ambush their victims. But you don’t do anything while I was out.”

“Like you said, it wouldn’t be very satisfying to fuck someone who can’t scream.” Gideon scoots a little closer clearly enjoying this game.

“But it’s more than that.” Spencer squeaks. “You’re sitting here talking to me, clearing it’s feeding your need for power without having to hurt me.” It sounds desperate to his ears as if he’s trying to make it true by saying it rather than deducing it. “I can keep doing this, we can just talk, you don’t have to-”

“Oh Spence you where doing so well.”

“Please.” Spencer couldn’t stop himself from inching away from Gideon. The mans hand clamped around his leg like a vice and he was dragged down. Gideon loomed over him just like before. Spence’s breath came quick and when Gideon bent down to kiss him Spence had the absurd instinct to lean up into the kiss. Instead he snapped his teeth.

Gideon gripped his chin.

“If you bite I pull out each of your teeth one by one.”

The threat made Spencer go still as Gideon slipped a finger into his mouth and pried it open. Two fingers invaded his mouth and Spencer was quickly gagging, but he kept his mouth open and fought the instinct to bite. Gideon trailed the spit cover fingers down his chest and pulled at his nipples viciously. Spencer tried to hold back the cry but when Gideon went for the other nipple and twisted harshly Spencer couldn’t stop himself from screaming.

“Giving in so quickly.” Gideon tutted. This was a new game. Don’t give him what he wants. Or hold back giving him what he wants so he can hurt me just enough to feel like he has the power but give in before he seriously hurts me.

Spencer clamped his mouth shut even as Gideon began to pinch his nipples hard. Gideon gave an impressed hum and Spencer let out the breath he was holding as Gideon released his nipples. But soon those fingers were back to his mouth prying it open again.

“Suck.” Gideon commanded. Spencer just stayed still eyes boring into Gideon. The hand in his mouth was removed but before he could breath

Slap.

His face stung, it was’t some playful tap it was full force.

Slap.

Again, this time the other cheek.

Slap.

He could feel tears beginning to form in the corner of his eyes.

Slap.

Spencer bit back his cry. His vision was beginning to go blurry and his head hurt. His ears were ringing.

Slap.

He blinked up at Gideon who paused a moment to watch the first tear trickle down Spencer’s red cheeks. His whole face felt like it would bruise in the morning, given he made it that long.

Slap.

Spencer tried to raise his hands up to stop the onslaught but Gideon caught them. And just slapped him again, a backhand this time. Tears were flowing freely and his head was pounding. When Gideon brought his fingers back to his mouth Spencer wasted no time pulling them in and sucking.

“Good boy.” Gideon crooned above him. He shoved his finger further and Spencer began to choke again. “We’ll have to work on that gag reflex.” Somewhere in Spencer addled brain it registered that Gideon must be planing to keep him longer than three days. It would take at least three weeks to make some progress in changing his over active gag reflex. Once in the library he’d picked up a book about BDSM training telling himself it was purely academic research. He’d had to rush to the bathroom only halfway through reading it to take care of himself. He’d avoided the subject ever since.

“If you weren’t so inexperienced I’d tell you to suck those fingers good because it’s all the prep you’re going to get but I don’t want to ruin you hole this early in the game.”

So it was a game, Spencer was right. But his head hurt too much to make much use of the information at the moment. He just kept sucking hoping his inept motions would satisfy Gideon.

When the fingers withdrew Spencer breathed a sigh of relief. It was short lived as his legs were forced apart. Cruelly Gideon garbed hold of his exposed dick and began working it with experienced fingers. Spencer harden quickly lost in Gideon’s movements, if he wasn’t so smart maybe he could trick himself into thinking they were back in the hotel room making love not -

Spencer lets out a long moan as he feels Gideon wrap his lips around his cock sucking him down in one practiced go. Gideon grips his hip refusing him any amount of leverage. This is all on his terms. Spencer can feel his orgasm building swiftly. He’s been so eager before he’d come quickly once Gideon had began touching him, the next two times he’s come untouched amazing both himself and his now captor. So it wasn’t surprising when he was spilling down Gideon’s throat in minutes.

Gideon sat up wiping a trail of cum off his lips and staring down triumphantly at Spencer spent and panting on the bed. He didn’t give the boy long to recover as he reached over the pulled a bottle of lube from the dresser. Spencer flinched back trying to close his legs. Gideon got up and began fiddling with his chains. If Spencer hadn’t been so out of it he might have been able to take advantage of the brief moment he was free.

Gideon flipped him over pressing him into the bed and yanking his hands above his head. They were hooked and locked to an anchor point on the headboard. Spencer gave them an experimental tug but they held tight. His legs were then yanked apart and similarly tied to opposite posts so he couldn’t close them even if he wanted to.


	6. More Than One Way to Break a Spencer Reid

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TW: Self harm (cutting), child abuse, phycological torture  
> 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See end of chapter notes for a spoiler filled trigger warning

What a sight the boy was tied to his bed. Gideon slipped a pillow beneath his hips to get better access. There was so much more he wanted to do than just fuck the boy but he reminded himself he had time. At least a week, longer if he pulled some favors.There was a design drawn up on his desk for a cell to hold the boy. He’d need a system to keep him alive and feed while he was gone, cases could last up to a week. He didn’t have all the logistics yet but everything in him said he needed to keep this one alive. 

“Please Sir.” Spencer gasped out as he felt cold lube drip down his ass. Gideon’s thick fingers rubbed it in slowly. He’d taken his time preparing the boy, given it was his first time it had taken a while to get him to loosen up. It was easier this time, his fingers slipped in and he caught the small moan Spencer tried to hold back. Yes he was a very special boy. 

“Breath.” He commanded and Spencer let out a shaky breath. “Relax.”

“You try relaxing when you have a killers fingers up your ass!” Spencer snapped back. Gideon slapped his ass quickly. To his credit the boy managed not to cry out. He slapped him again.

“Are you going to sass me boy?” His voice was sickly sweat.

“No sir.” Spencer said quickly. He was learning but he was also faking it. Gideon knew the boy was trying to keep him happy, it wasn’t really submission if he just gave in for fear of his life.

Gideon came around to the side of the bed so Spencer could see him as he drew his belt out of the loops of his pants. He did is slowly deliberately and watched as Spencers face clouded with fear. He looped the belt in one hand and let the other trail down Spencer’s body.

There were so many scars and they were old. If he had to guess his father was in and out of the picture growing up. The scars that remained spoke of severe but infrequent incidents. As much as he wanted to get to the screaming part the scars made him pause. Spencer had been right that he didn’t need to hurt him to dominate him. The kid had a sharp mind, the makings of a great profiler. There was more that one way to break someone.

“What did he do to you to leave this one.” Gideon traced the burn mark on his shoulder. Spencer looked away from him. The belt came down fast and sure on his buttocks and Spencer yelped.

“You said I didn’t have to hurt you, that we could just talk, so talk.”

When Spencer didn’t say anything Gideon brought the belt down again.

“I don’t want to talk about it.” Spencer gasped out. Gideon had used the whole carrot stick routine on many an unsub but never on his victims. Spencer made him want to step up his game a little.

“For every story you tell me I’ll release one of your limbs.” It was risky but that’s what Gideon liked, knowing he could control the situation despite the risk. He wanted to see what Spencer would do.

“Cooking accident.” The boy spit out. Gideon landed a vicious blow to his backside causing Spencer to scream. Gideon yanked his head up by the boys amazing long hair.

“For every lie you tell me I’ll draw blood.”

Spencer was forced to look up eyes wide with terror and tears forming again. God he could get used to that look. Spencer was so pretty when he cried, like a kicked puppy.

When Spencer didn’t respond right away he dropped his head and raised the belt.

“No wait it wasn’t a lie!” Spencer cried out desperately. 

Gideon lowered the belt and perched on the side of he bed so he could look Spencer in the eyes.

“It wasn’t the whole truth.”

Gideon watched the boy fight with himself, pride and shame fighting against the intense urge not get hit again.

“He was fighting with my mom.”

“Did he hit her?”

“Never.” Spencer shook his head, it was surprisingly true. “She … she picked up a frying pan, she was just making dinner, there was hot oil in it.” Gideon stroked the patch of discolored skin on Spencer’s left shoulder. “It WAS a cooking accident.” Spencer insisted.

“It must have hurt.” Gideon let a little bit of sympathy enter his voice. He did feel bad for he boy chained to his bed. Some people came out of an environment like that and they healed and went on to live good lives, in fact most did. Then some turned into killers and abusers themselves. But a select few like his good boy Spencer turning into the perfect victims.

Gideon mentally filed away the fact that he was beginning to think of Spencer as ‘his good boy’.

“And this one.” Gideon traced the slashes on his side.

“You said you’d untie me.” It was the first time Spencer looked up at him since he’d begun talking. Not so broken after all. Gideon nodded.

“Which one do you want?”

Spencer jiggled his left leg and Gideon obliged. He unlocked the chain from the cuff flicking the chain off the bed and out of Spencer’s reach. Spencer drew his leg up to a more comfortable position, he glanced at Gideon and turned slightly giving him a better view of the scars.

“A bottle.” Spence chocked out quickly. His eyes stayed trained on Gideon as the older man trailed his finger along the rough ridges. They hadn’t healed properly. “He broke it over my side and some of the glass got s-stuck.” Gideon caught the little stutter.

“No hospital visits I see.”

“I -” Spencer looked away. “I sewed it up myself.”

“How old were you?”

“8.”

Gideon looked at him in wonder.

Spencer jingled his other leg and Gideon let him have it for now. He unhooked the chain. Spencer moved slowly at first just working his muscles, they must have been cramping spread like that so Gideon reached over and began to massage his legs. Spencer was tense all over but little by little he relaxed. Gideon dug the heal of his hand into his right calf muscle and Spencer let out a gasp and then a moan and then sank further into the bed.

When he was nice and relaxed again Gideon coaxed him to roll over. It left his hands tied awkwardly but he’d have to give Gideon more to change that. He let Spencer rearrange himself. He didn’t try to close his legs again. Good so he could learn. Gideon settled himself on the bed slotting himself between Spencer’s legs. Uncomfortably close.

He watch Spencer hold himself still, watched his hands twitch as they tried to find a comfortable position, his eyes landed on the perfectly straight scars along his wrist. Gideon nearly smiled.

He reached over lightly touching them and Spencer flinched away.

“Tell me about those.”

Spencer just stared at him. He could see the boy trying to come up with some convincing lie. Gideon reached for the belt.

“I did them.”

He looked back at Spencer surprised the truth came so quickly, if a little disappointed.

“How.”

“Please, please don’t make me -”

Gideon was quick, the angle was awkward so he wasn’t able to make good on his promise for blood but he could do one better. The belt came down swiftly on Spencer’s crotch. Spencer screamed in earnest for the first time his legs trying to snap shut a little too late but Gideon held them open and raised the belt again.

“A razor! My dad’s razor! I took it from his shaver, I cut myself. I tied to make them neat.” Spencer’s eyes locked on him begging him to see that it was true, it was and for that Gideon lowered the belt. But he still wanted more.

“Why?”

Spencer whimpered eyes locked on the belt.

“I want … it was and experiment. No I swear that’s the truth!” Spencer’s sound the most desperate he’d seen him so far. “I wanted to know why someone would do it. I heard about a kid at school who did. Her mom yelled at her a lot. I didn’t understand why someone would hurt themselves when someone else was already hurting them.”

“Did you figure it out?”

“I did some research, after, most people said it helped them to see the pain on the inside on the outside. For others it was about asserting control over themself when they didn’t have control over their environment.”

“But what did that research tell you.” Gideon pointed at his arm.

“You shouldn’t use yourself as a subject, you have your now biases and given I was driven to it out of curiosity rather than … what ever she was feeling I couldn’t get an accurate result.”

Gideon nodded. It was the truth, and the boy was being so good. He was trying so hard to hold back those tears at those painful memories but as Gideon leaned over him to undo one of his arms something caught his eye.

Three perfectly parallel white lines on Spencer’s upper thigh. How could he have missed it?

Spencer followed his gaze and sobbed when he realized what Gideon was looking at. He desperately tired to close his legs, to get away from the man.

“It wasn’t a lie!” He insisted. “That is one of the things I learned! You asked what my research told me!”

“And you lied by omission.” Gideon gripped Spencer legs prying them apart to jab his fingers at the other scars. “If that’s all your ‘research’ told you then why did you do it again?” The scars were fresher, if he had to guess the initial cuts were when he was 10 but these had to be from his teenage years.

“Avoiding the truth is just as bad as lying, worse because you thought you could make me buy it.” Gideon lets anger lace his voice, he quickly flipped Spencer so his whole back was exposed. The boy trembled as Gideon turned the belt around and raised the side with the buckle above his head.

“Please. I’ll tell you everything just don’t -”

Spencer words died in a scream as the belt buckle bit into his flesh making good on Gideon’s promise of blood. The belt buckle left a horrible welt that began seeping blood at the deepest parts. Savagely Gideon drug his fingers in relishing in Spencer’s screams and pleas. The dark blood oozing out the wound looked so perfect on Spencer’s pale skin. Gideon resisted hitting him again. It wasn’t time for that yet. Images of Spencer screaming and crying as he reined blows down on his helpless boy filled Gideon’s mind. No he was going to savor it.

“Tell me what you learned.” He pressed his fingers again causing more blood to ooze out and Spencer cried his voice broken.

“I-” He sobbed. “I liked how it felt.” Now he was crying in earnest. Sobs wrecking his body, limbs trembling.

“Good boy.” Gideon slowly stroked his shoulder avoiding the gash on his back as Spencer sobbed into the pillow. He just kept saying. “I liked it, I liked it, I liked it.” In that pitiful broken voice of his.

“Sush, you did good Spence.”

Gideon stood, it would’t do for an infection to set in.

“Don’t leave!” The boy called out. He was trying to scramble to his knees pulling on the chains that bound his hands.

“Stay put boy.” Gideon’s command made him freeze. “I’m just getting the medical kit to clean your back up.”

Spencer flinched every time Gideon touched him and he hissed when alcohol was poured over his back. Gideon got the bandage taped down tight and finally he undid Spencer’s hands. He tensed waiting for the boy to make a run for it. But Spencer didn’t.

He turned to face Gideon. His eyes were puffy, bruises already forming all along his face, his jaw probably ached and his head probably hurt something awful. Gideon reached out and Spencer held himself still as he inspected his handiwork. Spencer lip was split in two places and there was a nasty bite in the corner that Spencer did himself. His hair was even more of a mess, sweat soaked and sticking up at odd angles. But he didn’t look away form Gideon.

“Come here.” Gideon opened his arms. He might have been one of the best profilers but he didn’t expect that to be what broke Spencer Reid. The boy hardly had any tears left but still they came. He flung himself into Gideon’s arms and curled up. Gideon hugged him close shushing him. Praise spilling from his lips and Spencer sobbed and clutched at him. Gideon rubbed the uninjured part of his back. They stayed like this until Spencer fell asleep again.

Gideon watched his little chest rise and fall. He really was something different. He rolled the boy onto his side so he wouldn’t accidentally put pressure on his back. Cleaning the bedsheets would have to wait. He didn’t think we was going to take things this far so early but Spencer was full of surprises. If he managed to keep Spencer he’d be able to watch it scar over. Gideon mussed to himself. While Spencer slept Gideon pulled up a chair and got working on his plan.

He was so lost in through he didn’t chain Spencer back up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Spoiler TW:  
> Gideon sees Spencer's scars and forces him to tell him about them, he uses the threat of beating Spencer with a belt to get him to comply. Spencer talks a little about the scars he got form his father physically abusing him and a lot about the self harm scars (grudgingly).  
> The self harm scars are from when he saw a girl in his class do the same thing and he experimented on himself to understand, he didn't get much out of it the first time but years latter he does it again because it makes him feel better.
> 
> I'm having a blast with Evil!Gideon, comments always appreciated.


	7. Escape Plan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just a brief calm before another storm.

This time when Spencer wakes up there’s no moment of blissful forgetfulness. His whole body aches, worse this time. The strip on his back stings and throbs, his whole face feels like a bruise, his arms and legs groan in protest when he tries to move again.

He know the room is empty and he knows what room he’s in but he doesn’t want to open his eyes yet. He can still feel the leather cuffs tight around his wrists and ankles but when he finally moves, limbs stiff and sore, he finds there aren’t chains attached to the cuffs this time.

He should move, his brains screams at him. His kidnapper isn’t here, he isn’t chained up. But the weight of the comforter on top of him seems too much to even get up. Besides could he even run this condition?

His stupid memory starts to replay in vivid images everything that’s happened to him. His stomach feels hollow and he’s thankful he hasn’t eaten because he might just throw it up. Gideon had touched his scars. He made him … he made him confess … everything. Things Spencer wasn’t even ready to tell himself.

He reached under himself to feel the three parallel lines on his thigh. He’d done them there so no one would ever find them. God up until a day ago he didn’t think he’d ever have sex.

He wished Gideon had just raped him. He wished Gideon had taken the belt and beaten him to death. It was his own stupid fault. He’d offered up his mind instead of his body and Gideon had taken both and abused them throughly. He didn’t want to psychoanalyze Gideon anymore, he didn’t want to be in the head of someone who could do these kinds of things, who wanted to hurt him in this way.

But he didn’t want to be in his head either. He didn’t want the memories of Gideon fucking him to blend with those of his smile as he brought the belt down. He didn’t want to perfectly remember both the cool confidence he’d lectured with and that dangerous growl when he was really mad at Spencer. He could feel the ghost of Gideon’s hands tracing his scars, pressing into his wound, -

\- holding him tight and telling him everything was okay and he was good. It was the validation he’d never gotten before but always craved. He wanted so desperately to be held like that again. He would have cried at the thought if he wasn’t so dehydrated.

Finally cracking his puffy and sore eyes open he realized it must be evening. The room was dark, the sun had set long ago. On the night stand was a bottle of water and a note.

He grasped the water bottle and drank so quickly he spilled and choked on it. Forcing himself to slow down Spencer finished the whole bottle before turning his attention to the note. There was just enough moonlight to read

‘Spencer when you wake up come find me downstairs.’

The absurdity of it made laugh out loud. It was the kind of note you find after a night love making not after …. what ever it was Gideon had done to him. Spencer lay back into the bed his mind working the words over. Gideon liked games, he liked winning them, he liked setting the rules, he liked the control. ‘Come find me downstairs’ a taunt? No a command. To see if he’d follow it. If he’d try to run. Physically he’d never beat Gideon in a fight, the man probably used poison not because he was too weak to subdue his victims but because it gave him complete control.

Okay now that his brain has decided to work again he can push past the pain. Slowly, carefully, he extracts himself from the bed, stretching each limp one by one till he feels like he can stand without toppling over. Escape plan.

The widow is pad locked, Gideon would hear it breaking and there’s three stories between him and the ground. Broken ankles aren’t great for running on. He’s been left unchained, it has to be a test. Search the room. He’s still naked so the first thing he looks for is clothes. Disappointingly nothing tuns up, the closet is locked too. He decides to wrap a sheet around himself in a makeshift togo, he probably looks ridiculous but it’s better than having his body exposed in full view of a criminal profiler. God know what else he’d be able to see that Reids so carefully hidden all these years, not that there’s much left after everything he’d made Spencer confess. He burns with the shame of it. He tries to tell himself he was literately being torture for information but it doesn’t help.

He doesn’t find any weapons, not so much as a letter opener in sight but that was expected. He does manage to find a few things that will make good lock picks. A nail pried up from the floor, a sliver of wood from the window sill, a honest to god ink fountain pen from the desk. He stows these on the side of the bed closets to where he anticipates he’ll be chained next. Under the sheets he cuts a small hole in the mattress with the pen and slips his treasures in.

It only occurs to him then that Gideon might have cameras on him. He looks around but nothing jumps out. Cameras now a days are small enough to fit into anything, even one of those picture frames. That would be another option to get a weapon but again there was the problem of alerting Gideon with the sound of breaking glass.

Spencer was settling into the realization he couldn’t escape tonight. Gideon was expecting it. The lock picks were a good plan, sans any hidden cameras which he was sure he’d find out about soon. He did another sweep of the room but came up empty. Checking over the bookshelves he found one of his favorites in the original Russian and decided to bring it back to the bed and leave it on the nightstand. Maybe at least if he was chained up again he’d have something to read.

His stomach growled and with a sigh he finally made his way to the only door in the room. It was unlocked thankfully. It creaked as it opened and Spencer made a mental note not to try and sneak out through the door. The hallway beyond was ordinary, some paintings, a few family photos. As he looked closer, eyes adjusting to the dark, he could make out Gideon playing with a child, a college graduate holding his diploma high and hugging his mom. So Gideon had a son and somewhere between the ages of 5 and 20 they became estranged but he still kept tabs on him. There was one that was probably of Gideon’s team celebrating in the FBI headquarters. He wondered if any of them know. Statistically it would be very rare anyone else on the team shared Gideon’s … appetite. He wondered about the tall serious looking man who stood just slightly away from the rest of the group. An outcast? A boss. Gideon stood close to him, it was possible that the serious man covered for him but again statistically unlikely.

Nothing of use in the hallway either. He could try to investigate the other rooms but, the note clearly implied he should come straight down to find Gideon and Spencer didn’t think he could stand another beating at the moment.

The stairs creaked too, it seemed like Gideon didn’t even need cameras the house was it’s own alarm system. The rest of the cabin was surprisingly cozy. No bloodstains or chain hanging from the ceiling. A spacious living room, small tv in one corner. Several large plush couches, soft runs covered the floors here and the view was stunning yet terrifying. Ridges lined with trees and a single snaking dirt road leading off to the left. They were clearly quite isolated. Gideon was in the kitchen with his back to him. There was a marble island separating them as Gideon hummed to himself. The smell of frying meat drew Spencer closer. The older man was wearing a new shirt freshly pressed and tucked into beige slacks. In another world Spencer would find him handsome. In another world Spencer would be thanking his lucky stars to wake up to such a sight.

“I see you found my note.” When Gideon turns around with a soft smile on his gentle face Spencer is forced to admit even in this world he finds Gideon handsome. The note, the game, Spencer takes a deep breath.

“Thanks for the water.”He can feel his legs start to tremor so he opts to slid into one of the high bar stools behind the counter as far away from the man as possible. Gideon gives him an apprising look, he’s pleased. Spencer can work with that.

“You must be starving.”

“Everyone says I’m too skinny.” Spencer tries to laugh it off as a joke but the look Gideon gives him says he can look into Spencer soul and find the truth.

“Am I the first person to ever call you beautiful?”

“No.” It’s a knee jerk defensive reaction but not completely untrue which is exactly what he intends to say if Gideon starts getting handsy again. Gideon places the spatula on the counter and gives Spencer another look. Deciding he doesn’t want find out what a spatula feels like on his sore bottom he quickly adds. “The first too mean it in a sexual context.”

“You are beautiful Spencer Reid and I know you don’t believe me but I’m going to keep saying it.”

“I believe you see something of value in me I just don’t think it has anything to do with my looks.” He shoots back.

“How so?”  
“There were so many less risky way’s you could have taken me. You must have wanted me pretty bad.”

“I do.” Gideon inclined his head conceding on that point. Spencer doesn’t take the bait and ask why.

“I’m impressed you find time to cook for and kidnap college students when you’re a profiler for the FBI.” Maybe he’s being a little bratty but it makes him feel better to say it, to try and needle Gideon till he can get under his skin. “Then again maybe your type is more high school aged, easier to manipulate.” Gideon doesn’t even raise and eyebrow at the insult to his intelligence.

“I’m on sabbatical.”

“Does your team know you’re probably worse than 90% of the men you help catch?”

“No, because I’m not as stupid as 90% of the men we catch in disposing of the bodies.”

Spencer’s blood runs cold. It’s a horrible reminder that this really isn’t just some game. Maybe it is to the man across from him but to Spencer this is life or death, although at the moment it seems more like death or pain.

“How do you do it.”

“Chemicals.”

“Unusual.”

“Effective.”

Gideon turns back to the frying pan and images of his mother brandishing one that looks just like it leap to his mind. He wants to scratch at his shoulder even though it has long sensed healed but he keeps his hands still, Gideon might have his back turned but he’ll be watching his every move, ready to exploit any weakness.

Gideon sets two plates, napkins and two sets of fork and knives in front of him and gestures to the dinning room table. Spencer doesn’t want to take his eyes off the man but he doesn’t dare disobey.

It only occurs to him once he’s set the table, strategically putting them on opposite sides but not opposite ends, that Gideon just handed him a knife and turn his back on him without any thought. It’s a dull butter knife but still what does it say about him that Gideon is so convinced he’ll play nice. He’d once read about the 4 trauma responses, fight, flight, freeze, and fawn. He’d always thought of himself as a freeze kind of guy but he’d have to rethink that now. With nothing left to do he sits down. A moment later Gideon is reaching over dishing out green beans and mashed potatoes.

“Thank you.” Spencer curses himself for the automatic response. Next is a big slab of stake and this time he keeps his mouth shut.

They eat in silence for a while. Spencer just keeps thinking about the knife he’s holding. Yes the plan isn’t to do something now while Gideon is on alert but wait for later. Yes the plan was never to try and overpower Gideon with physical force. And yes the plan doesn’t involve just running out the front door with no plan. But god is it tempting to just fling him self into and see how far he can get. He might be too injured later to use the lock picks. He might be dead later.

Well he wouldn’t be feeding me if he was just going to kill me right?

“You said you liked it, elaborate.”

Spencer doesn’t have excuse of a poor memory not know what Gideon is talking about. He quickly raises the glass of OJ in front of him to his lips and takes a big gulp stalling for time. Gideon wants to hurt him, he wants to know he has the power to hurt him. So if he gives up the information without a fight-

“It was went I was 12. I hadn’t through about it in a while but then one night.” Spencer took shoved a big fork full of green beans in his mouth. “I remembered what I had read about cutting feeling like you have power over your body.” He mumbled as he chewed. Interestingly that finally got a reaction from Gideon.

“Chew with your mouth closed Spencer.” He narrowed his eyes at the boy. Spencer shut his mouth happily. But all too soon he’s swallowed and was back to square one. He could take another bite. An image of Gideon reaching for the stake knife to find out how loud he’d scream flashed through his mind.

“It didn’t feel like the first time. The first time it stung and I did ten times just to make sure I got the full experience. I did it with a razor blade because I knew it would be quick.”

“You took your time with those, they’re deeper, more precise.”

Spencer nodded taking another sip of his juice.

“There was so much blood I thought I might pass out or something but I didn’t. It just … it felt so good to feel something.”

“When was this?”

“I told you I was 12.”

Gideon just gave him that look again, that disproving I know you’re holding back on me look.

“My father just left for the last time.”

Silence fell on the table, he couldn’t make himself look at his captor, he didn’t want to see the piety on his face. He’d seen his body, heard the story of the scars. He could read between the lines. The son who desperately wanted his father’s approval even after years and years of abuse and absence.

It was practically textbook, a psych 101 class could figure him out and he was sure that Gideon was putting together that with his virginity and body issues and coming up with a pretty good picture of why Spencer was so quick to find comfort in his arms even after everything he’d done. Point Gideon.

“I’m never going to leave you Spencer.”

He laughed looking up at Gideon who had apparently been dead serious.

“Of course not, I’m going to leave you when my body inevitably gives out under what ever torture ritual you’ve got planed. I hope you’ve taken into account the fact that I’m so weak I probably won’t make it to your three day record.” Spencer spat.

“Oh Spence.” Gideon shook his head.“I’m not going to kill you. I’m going to keep you for a long long time, as long as I can. I have some friends coming over and they’re going to build a room for you in the basement to keep you safe when I’m away at work. I promise I won’t let that big brain of yours go to waste either. You’ll have all the books you need, writing material. I’ll even have you published under a pseudonym if you’re good.” Gideon leaned forward and took Spencer’s hand in his. “I’m going to take really good care of you Spence like no one ever has or ever would.”


	8. I'll Make You a Deal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gideon is evil and Spencer doesn't know how to handle the fact that he's still attracted to him. 
> 
> TW: for slight reference to child abuse and bullying.

Gideon 'graciously' lets him use the bathroom but he insists on watching. At first Reid thinks it's another one of his ways to assert control but really he's just making sure Reid doesn't try to escape. He's lead back to the room with a firm hand on his shoulder like Gideon think's he stupid enough to try and run, although Spencer does have to fight every instinct in his body not to. He clenches his fist not wanting Gideon to feel him tremor.

Gideon flicks on the lights and gives Spencer a little push towards the bed. He can't stop his hands from shaking as he turns to face the man.

"Now Spencer I'm not going to punish you if you can tell me what rule you broke after waking up."

Rule? Gideon hasn't given him any rules. Yes there were rules last night, tell the truth, but he hasn't broken that all day even though he's wanted to. He's talked back a little bit but he knows that deep down that's what Gideon wants, it's no fun for him when Spencer just gives in. He won't be punished if he can figure this out so that must mean that he has everything to do so he just needs to put the puzzle together.

Gideon watches him and he wonders if there's a time limit on this question. Okay think. Gideon's note had said to come find him so leaving the bed was allowed, so was coming downstairs. He'd said 'wafter waking up' which would technically encompass anything at the dinner table but his word choice makes Spencer think it must have something to do with what he did before he came downstairs.

Gideon might know about the lock pick stash and be giving him a chance to come clean but Spencer isn't willing to gamble his one and only escape plan on that.

"Do you want a hint?"

Spencer shakes his head before he really has a chance to think about it, he doesn't want to know what a hint would cost him.

'When you wake up come find me downstairs'

Frustrated Spencer twist the fabric of the sheet in his hands and -

"You didn't say I could wear anything, in fact you purposefully left me without clothes."

"Good boy." Gideon smiles. "Now take it off."

He doesn't want to, he can see it's turning Gideon on just to watch him struggle with this. He's not going to put on some sick strip tease for the man so he just rips the sheet off and stands bare before his captor. Spencer has to clench his hands into fist to keep them at his side, Gideon hadn't forbade him from covering himself but if he's going to expect Spencer to follow rules that aren't clearly laid out Spencer can't take any chances.

At least he still has the lock picks. Tonight, if he can stay on Gideon's good side and not get hurt too bad, then tonight when the man is fast asleep -

Gideon approaches slowly and it's everything Spencer can do to not flinch away. The man trails his fingers over Spencer's busted up face and Spencer winces.

"I would have iced your lip but you look so good wearing that shade of purple. You bruised so nicely, how ever did your father keep his abuse a secret?"

Spencer keeps his eyes down and holds back the answer. It's that tight rope walk again, he can't just give in or Gideon will get bored with him and decided to hurt him anyways. Out of the corner of his eye he can see Gideon raising his hand ready to slap him again.

"I was home sick from school a lot." Spencer mutters. Gideon narrows his eyes at him, hand still raised up. "And I got beat up by the other kids." The hand doesn't strike him it just goes back to caressing him. Maybe that's worse. Gideon motions for him to turn around and he does. He grabs a handful of Spencer's ass and squeeze till the boy gives out a yelp.

"Sit on the bed I'm going to change your bandage." 

With this he is mercifully clinical, he does poke at it a bit and comment again on how pretty bruises look against his pale skin. The wound itches now but Gideon spreads some cream over it and that helps.

All too soon Gideon is pressing him into the bed on his back, arranging him how he wants him. Spencer gulps realizing Gideon hadn't fucked him again, he'd been interrupted by his own sick game, but surely that's what's going to happen tonight. He can do this, he'd done it once before with Gideon, if he just shuts his eyes-

"Look at me Spence."

He looks up at the older man. Gideon's taken his shirt off this time but he's still wearing the beige slacks. Hands part his legs.

"Am I going to need to chain you up for this?"

Spencer shakes his head.

"Use your words boy."

"No." Spencer says quickly. Gideon's hands move up his thighs and he knows the man can feel him tremble.

"No what?" His tone is patience as if talking to a slow child but there's just a hind of danger.

"No Sir." His voice comes out all squeaky.

"Don't make me regret giving you freedom."

Gideon's fingers make it to his cock and begin to stroke it, Spencer lets out a small moan and throws his head back. It feels so horrible good, Gideon's fingers work a thousand times better on him that his own do. He wants nothing more then for this all to be a horrible dream and to wake up next to Gideon in the hotel.

"You like that?"

"Yes Sir." Spencer gasps as Gideon rubs at the bundle of nerves right under his head.

"I'll make you a deal." Gideon withdraws and Spencer clamps his mouth shut to stop the plea from escaping, he'd do almost anything to have Gideon's hands back on him. A voice in the back of his mind is trying tell him just how beyond fucked up that is but he shoves it away.

Out of the corner of his eye he sees Gideon set an old fashioned egg timer.

"If you can last ten minutes without coming I'll leave you alone tonight with your book."

He sees Gideon’s smile and glances at the book on the night stand. So Gideon had noticed.

"And if I can't?"

"If you cum I'll take you hard.” Gideon decides to add no doubt as payback for all his cheek “and you can sleep on the floor."

He has to make a show of deliberating because all he wants to do is scream yes, if playing this game and losing is all it takes to satisfy Gideon tonight it will be worth it. All he wants is to know he's won and then fuck Spencer hard, it's perfect because it ensure's he'll be able to walk out of here tonight. Plus sleeping on the floor is nothing, he used to sleep under his bed when his father was drinking lest the man come in in the middle of the night feeling like he needs his own personal punching bag back. And he definitely doesn't want to say yes because it means Gideon's hands will be on him again.

"I ... accept."

Gideon smiles ear to ear as he sets the time and Spencer lets a small thrill of hope go through him. He's getting out of here, all he has to do is endure this and if there's one thing he's good at it's enduring.

The hand doesn't go straight back to his dick like Spencer feared it would (hoped it would) instead it rest on his thighs as Gideon leans over to kiss him. It's slow and soft and all Spencer wants to do is sink into this, he knows it's wrong but he can't help that Gideon seems to know exactly the right way to touch him. His hands glide over Spencer's chest and tweak his nipples lightly, Spencer gasps and Gideon depends the kiss. He can feel the weight of the older man pressing down on him and it's everything he's ever wanted, everything he's ever dreamed of in those small moment that he allowed himself to think about what his first time would be like. He wants to be envelope, held fast by someone like Gideon, someone strong and intelligent.

Gideon nibbles at his lip lightly and Spencer lets his mouth fall open. He'd never really seen the appeal to kissing, it seemed like a lot of exchanging germs for nothing but the way Gideon kisses makes his head go all dizzy and butterflies rise in his stomach.

And then that hand trails lower and lower brushing over the soft crop of hair before it reaches -

Spencer cries out as Gideon begins working his cock again. The other man drinks in the chorus of gasps and moans that follows as Spencer's pulse begins to race. He can feel that warm thick like honey pleasure that starts to build -

Spencer glances at the timer. Seven minuets left. Gideon chuckles and he looks up at him. His eyes are trained on Spencer's face cataloging every moment. He spits in his palm and goes back to Spencer's cock twisting and pumping. Spencer tries his best to hold out, he tries to think bad thoughts. He screws his eyes shut and thinks about the faces of all the kids who tortured him in high school.

"Eyes open boy."

Spencer's eyes fly open and the command plus the sight before him has him leaking pre-cum.

"You poor thing." Gideon croons. "You aren't going to make it are you?" Gideon gives a vicious tug and Spencer groans. Five minuets left and he feels like he's going to spill any moment, but he needs to keep this up. If he can last up to the last second, or at least within a minuet of it, Gideon will feel like it was a real challenge to win. It will hurt, what comes next, but as long as Gideon is satisfied with Spencer’s defeat he won’t feel the need to hurt him worse.

"I'll make it easy on you boy, beg me to hurt you and I'll make sure you don't cum."

Spencer lets out a long whine as Gideon moves one hand up to rub his chest and pay special attention to his nipples. They are sore but in a delicious way that sends sparks of pleasure through him and straight to his straining cock. He's never wanted to cum so badly in his life. 

And he can't give in, if he asks Gideon to hurt him what becomes of his escape plan? If he doesn’t ask Gideon to hurt him he’s hardly going to last another minute.

"No please Sir, keep going." Spencer groans out. Gideon gives a dark chuckle but he stay true to his word. He pauses for a moment to reach over to the night stand and pull out a bottle of lube. Spencer starts to panic, he checks the timer and there's still four minuets left.

"Shush, relax, I promise this won't hurt."

His erection has waned a little and he's not as close to the edge. Gideon squirts out a glob of lube and rubs it between his hands, then the assault is back on. All it takes is a few strokes and Spencer is back to moaning. He fists his hands in the sheets, his mind is still clear enough to remember Gideon's warning. He glances at the timer but it's like no time has past and he knows he's getting close.

He can feel a finger prodding at his hole and he tenses up, clamping down and refusing entry. But the finger doesn't dig in like he expects. Instead Gideon traces small circle around his hole massaging the ring as he continues stroking Spencer's cock. It's an intoxicating combination and despite himself he can feel that he's loosening up.

A moment later one finger slips in easily. The stretch feels good, it doesn't hurt. Gideon withdraws from his cock and this time Spencer whines at the loss of contact.

"Please." He pants. "Please Sir."

Gideon gives and dark chuckle. He forces Spencer legs further apart and starts sucking little love bites along his thighs. Spencer moans bucking his hip trying to get some friction but he's held down. A second finger slips in and he hisses just as Gideon bites down properly. The man can't resist leaving more bruises.

Gideon finds that spot inside him that had made him cum so fast before and begins a relentless push against it. Spencer writhes but there's not escaping those fingers and that hand and that mouth. Gideon's teeth sink into him so hard he must have drawn blood just as he hammers at Spencer's prostate suddenly he's cumming.

He arches his back and calls out Gideon's name, it's a plea and a thank you and a oh god yess all wrapped up into one. Because Gideon is the only god he knows in this moment. His body goes limp relaxing into the soft bed as Gideon strokes him through his orgasm.

The egg timer goes off with a shrill sound.


	9. Perfectly Broken

Gideon glances at the timer, Spencer is 20 seconds away from winning this game and he decides to take a gamble on that masochism streak he'd sensed earlier. And boy does it pay off in a big way. Spencer comes shouting his name and it's so perfect, it's just like at the hotel except so much more desperate and broken. It's so much better knowing Spencer is all his forever.

The timer goes off interrupting Spencer's moment of bliss. The boy's lax body goes ridged as he realizes how close he came to winning. He feels a thrill go through him as Spencer picks his head up eyes snapping to him, watching and dreading what comes next. Gideon shoves this fingers in deeper. This is what he's wanted to do since he got Spencer home, recreate what he'd done at the hotel when Spencer had let him fuck him even after he'd come. The boy had been so sensitive and tight, he could see how every movement was pleasure mixed with pain. It had been a good look on Spencer all fucked out and overstimulated but begging him to keep going. This time he wanted to hold Spencer down so hard it bruised his wrist. He wanted to fuck into the boy without having to worry about stoping even if he tore him. He wanted keep going even as Spencer begged him to stop.

So Gideon began scissoring his fingers and Spencer let out a cry. Perfect.

Spencer tries desperately to move away from him but Gideon isn't having any of it. He makes a viscous stab at Spencer's sensitive prostate as he lunges forward to pin Spencer down. The boy howls in pain but he can't help the way his body reacts to Gideon's touch. He arches up into Gideon's hands like he's trying to chase any comfort the man has to offer. Perfect. And when Gideon pushes him down onto the bed Spencer sinks into submission so readily. He's so lost in himself he doesn't even think to fight it, his hands are still fisted in the sheets trying to keep himself still.

This is why he likes his boys a little broken. He'd seen it in Adam Long towards the end, the way he'd leaned into Gideon's soft touches after hours of torture. But Gideon had had to take him nearly to deaths door to get that from him. With Spencer is so easy. Gideon wonders if he's the first to touch Spencer like this and he suspects he is.

He twists his fingers letting up the pressure and going back to slowing working Spencer open. It's has the desired effect. The boy's head thumps back onto the pillow and his body relaxes again. He's still whimpering a little and Gideon's sure it must hurt but when he withdraws his fingers to get more lube he can feel Spencer press back trying to keep him inside for a moment before the boy goes rigid realizing what he's doing. Gideon can't help it, he looms over Spencer watching the boy war with himself, trying to justify how he'd just cum on the fingers of the man holding him captive. His face is amazingly expressive, after working all day with people he has to study hard to read it's amazing to come home to this naked display of emotions. 

Spencer can't even bring himself to look up at Gideon so he grabs his chin and forces him too. He doesn't need to say it for Spencer to know he's seen everything. Fear and shame color Spencer's beautifully bruised face.

"I'll have to keep you like this even when I go away." Gideon traces the cut on Spencer's lip. "I want to come back to see you still wearing my marks." He can feel the boy quiver beneath him. "Now relax Spence, I know I said I was going to fuck you hard but you've been so good for me that if you relax I'll make this good for you."

Spencer nods mutely. The boy focuses on his breathing and Gideon goes back to making him loose enough that he won't tare. He wonders if Spencer's ever been in therapy or if he taught himself the breathing techniques. He wonders what Spencer is thinking about as he takes a third finger without any trouble, his cock is growing interested again. He know's he's Spencer's first, when the boy confessed it to him that night he could have danced with joy, and now he'll be Spencer's only. He can take that little twist of masochism, the self loathing, the desperate need for affection, the daddy issues, he can take it all and mold it into exactly what he needs. His perfectly broken little boy.

Spencer gasps when he feels the head of Gideon's cock at his entrance and instinctively tighten up.

"Shush, shush." Gideon pets him lightly. "Be a good boy."

He can't help but notice that a little pre-cum forms after those words are spoken. Spencer must be so starved for praise, he'll have to remember to use it sparingly. But this time it does the trick and Spencer even parts his legs a little to accommodate Gideon as he slips in. The boy throws his head back and groans as Gideon starts with small shallow thrusts. He's trying for Spencer's sake, because he promised he'd make it good for the boy, because he doesn't want Spencer to feel punished even though he lost the game. Spencer gave him so much more than he could have ever hope for tonight. He should be rewarded.

But Gideon has needs and ever since the boy came down stairs in that sheet, a silly attempt to regain some control, he's been aching to make him scream. This time when he thrusts he pushes harder, deeper, and Spencer spreads his legs more pushing back a little. Soon Gideon is all the way in. He pauses for a moment letting Spencer adjust to the feeling.

"Please." It's so quiet he almost misses it.

"What do you need darling?" Gideon whispered back, he moves further up to get a closer look at the boys face causing Spencer to moan. Spencer is jerking his hips in little motions and Gideon realizes he's trying to fuck himself on his cock. That sends him over the edge and he grips Spencer hips so hard he knows the boy will wear hand shaped bruises in the morning.

Gideon ponds him relentlessly and the boy takes it, arching his back and alternating between trying to get away from the onslaught and trying to push back to get more. Gideon only pauses again when he feels Spencer's hands unclench from the sheets and stealthily try to move towards his now rock hard cock.

"No." Gideon's voice is sharp and Spencer tightens deliciously as he know's he's caught. Gideon yanks both his writs above his head and holds them there and he screws into Spencer making pitiful cries spill form the boys lips.


	10. Spencer Make Plans and Gideon Laughs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TW: Drowning see end of chapter for a full warning

Spencer is curled up on the wood floor facing away from Gideon his hands have been secured by the cuffs again, this time the chain is shorter and he’s worried he might not be able to reach his stash but he can’t try yet. The chain is looped around the front foot of the bed and in his search he’d missed the part where said bed was bolted to the floor. No chance of lifting it not that he could. Gideon is still in the room, he’d just finished securing Spencer’s feet to the foot of the bed and he’d moved all the bedding out of Spencer’s reach.

He feels Gideon’s hands on him, rolling him over onto his front and parting his legs a little. Spencer lets it happen. He’s so close to tears, bitting the inside of his mouth trying to keep form sobbing. Fingers part his cheeks and he can’t imagine what the man could want from him now. He feels something cold and hard poke at his abused ass and he tried to clamp down but Gideon grows impatient and just shoves it in. Spencer sobs a single tear falling. It’s a small butt plug.

“I promise I’ll clean you out in the morning.” Gideon says like it’s supposed to be reassuring and Spencer just curled into himself further.

“Look at me.”

He’s trembling but he doesn’t dare refuse, Spencer rolls over and lifts his eyes up to his captor. Gideon is impassive above him, he wipes the tear from Spencer’s cheek.

Then Gideon pulls out one final touch. The leather is soft and padded. He’s not surprised to find it fits perfectly around his neck, not too tight but he’d never be able to forget it’s there. The collar locks in the back with a small click. He can feel the weight of a D ring in the front but Gideon mercifully doesn’t chain him with that as well.

“Like I said, I’m going to keep you a long time Spencer.” Gideon’s voice is so soft but Spencer looks away.

“Try to get some sleep.”

Spencer wants to come up with some witty retort but he keeps him mouth shut, the sooner Gideon leaves him alone the sooner he can escape. Gideon leans down and plants a soft kiss on his lips, then he checks his bindings one more time and leaves locking the door behind him.

Spencer knows he has to wait, when he tries to roll the chains binding him give a loud clank. He should stay like this till Gideon’s asleep when ever that would be, he wants to reach up and assure himself his lock picks are still there but he can’t risk it. Of corse he’d never picked a lock before but he’s watched videos on it and understands how it works and it should be simple enough.

Spencer screws his eyes shut and tried to force his brain to recall every detail of those videos instead of …

His cock is still aching completely untouched since he first came. Shame burns through him, not at what he let the man do he knows logically he had no control over that but … Gideon had told him to relax and he knew he need to think of something, some fantasy that would get him off so he’d relax and Gideon wouldn’t hurt him. He’d tried to think of a boy in his math class who’s name he never learned but all his mind could conjure up was images of Gideon leaning over him, kissing him, telling him he’s beautiful. He’d cracked his eyes open to watch Gideon. He looked like a man dying of thirst and Spencer was a lake he was about to drink dry. He looked so hungry for Spencer’s body. He’d never been wanted like that, never been desired.

When Gideon slipped a third finger in he looked away lest the man catch him watching.

He hadn't cum, like Gideon probably imagined, lost in some fantasy with a boy his age. He'd cum fully in the moment, fully aware of who's fingers were in him, who's hands where on him. He'd cum not despite it being Gideon but ..... because of.

That thought broke something inside him and he started to cry. Sobs coursing through him even as he tried to hold them back, shivering naked on the the floor. He bit is lip till it bleed, he screwed his eyes shut like it would stop the tears from falling.

When enough time had passed that he's gotten himself under control again and he hoped against hope Gideon was fast asleep, he began to move. Every movement made the chain clank together. If he had the sheets he could muffle the sound but either Gideon had already thought of that or he wanted to deny him any comfort. It was slow going, he was sure any moment Gideon would reappear in the doorway, he'd left the door open probably to keep an ear out for something like this. He was probably expecting this, he might not even be asleep yet but Spencer had to get out of here, he just had to. Gideon wasn't going to kill him like the other, of that he was certain, but it might not be for a very long time. It was the most terrible thought that he wouldn't even be able to escape this man through death.

His fingertips finally brushed against the small bulge in the mattresses side. It was a miracle that Gideon hadn't found them when stripping the bed. He had to strain his arm to get one finger inside, he couldn't quite reach the lock picks from here, even stretched as far as he'd go, cuffs digging into his writs and ankles cutting off blood flow. So he hooked a finger and tore the mattress. The ripping sound made him cringe but he was so close.

Clang.

The three picks dropped out of the mattress and onto the floor. Spencer froze eyes fixed on the doorway, the minutes ticked by and all was silent. Surely Gideon would have heard that if he was awake.

He had though that that would be the hardest part but it turned out just knowing how to pick a lock and having the tools might not be enough. He was making considerable noise now, shifting to find and gather the lock picks, bending over to find the lock, fiddling with it. And clank clank clanking all the way.

The nail was too thick to fit into any of the pad locks so he discarded it. The pen had better luck and actually managed to open the one of his right wrist. He could have cried out for joy but then the tip broke in the lock itself. That left the sliver of wood. It was fragile but if he held it just right and was very careful -

"And here I thought you were going to be perfect."

Gideon's voice made him freeze as if ice had been poured into his veins. He didn't want to look up, he had no innocent explanation for this. Oh god he was going to die right here right now screaming and crying at the hands of-

Gideon stomped over grabbing his chin and forcing him to look up again. Spencer blinked through his bloodshot eyes. Gideon was angry yes but he seemed more sad.

"No, please." Was all Spencer could come up with.

"I know." Gideon pried the wood splinter out of his hand and placed it on the night stand. "That brilliant brain of yours wasn't just going to let you give in without a fight. It's okay." Gideon cupped his face, tucking a strand of hair behind his ear. Spencer's breath was coming fast trying to anticipate what would come next, trying to figure a way out of this. He had one hand free. "I have high hopes for you Spence and I hate to think of wasting such genius, but you have to know you were never getting out of here alive."

More tears came unbidden.

Gideon had brought handcuffs with him, so he must have anticipate this, or heard Spencer and been waiting. They weren't the flimsy ones either, they were the kind with a solid bar in the middle. His wrist were cuffed behind his back before his left arm was released. Gideon took the leather cuffs off and simply tossed them aside.Then his legs received the same treatment. It was totally absurd he be felt more naked without the leather cuffs. They were nice, expensive, padded, not the kind of thing he'd waste time and money on if Gideon was just going to kill him.

These cuffs were hard edges digging too tight into his skin, totally immovable, disposable just like him. How could he have been so stupid to think he'd be able to outsmart Jason Gideon?

Spencer was suddenly hoisted up and slung over Gideon's shoulder like a sack of potatoes. He had to stop himself for wriggling around, it would do him no good at this point, his only prayer was that Gideon would make it quick but he doubted that would ever happen.

He sobbed again, he didn't want to die like this. He felt like he was just getting to the point where he could live his life. He was in college, he was taking double the course load and loving it. He ... he didn't have to wory about his dad any more. He didn't have to be the adult for his mother any more. He didn't have friends yet but he was working on that. He hadn't even had his first drink yet for Christ sake it can't end like this.

Spencer cried out as he dropped into a tub. He blinked trying to comprehend where he was. He'd thought Gideon would take him to where ever his real torture set up was, probably the basement, but instead he was back in the bathroom. He blinked up at the florescent lights. The tub was deep, deep enough to be fully submerged and he'd thought about that when he'd seen it first, thought about how nice it would be to soak in a hot bath, thought about how there was room for Gideon to slip in behind him.

Gideon jammed the plug in as Spencer tried to sit up, he was firmly pushed down banging his head on some sharp protrusion from the bathtub floor. It became all too clear what it was a second later when Gideon pulled out another padlock, rotated his collar so the ring was in back, and used it to chain Spencer to the small ring on the tub floor. Spencer tried to sit up again but he choked as the collar held fast. His heart was already racing, panic starting to cloud his thinking.

Gideon leaned over him and turned the tap on, ice cold water squirted out onto Spencer's face and he choked, thrashing and turning his head away from the spout. Gideon adjusted the taps till it was more gentle stream than spray. It pour onto Spencer's forehead and his first though was of Chinese water torture, but that was done with a precise drip. He could breath now although water kept getting into his mouth. As Gideon stood up it hit him, the tub was plugged and he couldn't raise his head anymore than a few inches from the bottom of it.

No.

No, no, no!

"Gideon!" He cried out but all he got in answer was the door slamming shut.

Oh God No!

He'd clearly slowed the tab to give Spencer more time before he drowned but it was going fast enough that he estimated he only had about five minuets.

It didn't make any sense, he knew Gideon liked to be up close and see the effect he was having on his victims. He'd expected hours of torture, he'd guessed a knife, probably bleeding out on a table as Gideon sank his fingers into his wounds. He thought Gideon's smiling face would be the last thing he'd see. Drowning was a horrible horrible death but if he was going to go this way why wasn't Gideon the one holding him under, maybe drowning him over and over and over again for maximum suffering. Why wasn't Gideon here? Didn't he want to see Spencer die, wasn't this what it was all about?

The water was pooling around his ears. He tugged again. His arms were trapped uncomfortably underneath him and his legs were no help. He scrabbled trying to get them up and out over the lip of the tub, his heal caught and he got some leverage but what ever was bolted to the tub that was lock to his collar wasn't budging.

Gideon had said he was special, he'd said he was going o keep him for a long long time.

"Gideon please I'll be good I swear!" He called out. No answer. "Please, Sir please, I won't try to escape again! I can be yours! I can be good! Gideon!" His voice was loud and desperate but the echo off the tiled walls was the only answer. He sobbed and choked again as water splashed into his mouth. He began to shiver as the ice water enveloped him.

He was special, he was supposed to be special.

But maybe that was it. He was such a disappointment that he didn't even deserve to have Gideon here to witness his death. He was going to die alone, cold. He wasn't special. He was even more nothing than the others. He wasn't even worth Gideon getting his hands dirty.

He was straining now to keep his head above the water but the collar was choking him. He spluttered and spat trying to keep the water out of his mouth but it was no use.

He was just some broken boy, that's all he'd ever been. Under all the facts, the eidetic memory, the way he could talk circles around the best professors, every book he'd read, it wasn't enough to cover up what he truly was inside. He was broken, Gideon had seen that and had accepted him for it for a short time but even the novelty of it had to wear off and maybe he just wasn't broken in the right ways for Gideon.

He was going to die and all he'd ever managed to be in his life was a sad boy who covered up his bruises with his moms makeup and his IQ, but even that wouldn't save him now.

The water engulfed him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gideon catches Spencer trying to escape and chains him in a bath tub to drown him. He walks away and Spencer thinks he's leaving him to die.


	11. You’re as Cold as Ice

Gideon leaned against the bathroom door stroking himself through his pants. He could hear Spencer’s panicked cries and sobs, hear him choking on the water. He had the boy properly terrified.

And then when he'd started calling his name and begging, It was so perfect Gideon wished he'd thought to record it. He wanted to play it back over and over and over again, he'd be coming to this memory for weeks. He want to force Spencer to listen to himself beg, listen to how broken he was. Well there would be time for that Gideon smiled to himself as he sped up his stroking. So much time indeed. He had a meeting with the contractor tomorrow, his basement was just right to put a cage up in the corner. He was going to get to keep Spencer after all.

Gideon was so lost in thought he didn't realize Spencer wasn't screaming any more.

Shit.

Gideon flung the door up, Spencer was fully submerged and there weren't any air bubbles.

Gideon knocks the tap to off and reaches under Spencer to unplug the tub. The water begins to drain slowly and he fumbles with the keys dropping them twice before jamming them into the lock and freeing Spencer. Gently he lifts Spencer out of the water supporting him by the neck. For one horrible moment the boy is still.

Then he chokes and coughs up a lung full of water. Gideon helps him sit up, patting his back as Spencer tries to get it all out, gasping for air and shivering. Gideon quickly undoes the writs and ankle cuffs. He's cold as ice, arms wrapped around his slight frame, still hacking up water. They stay like that for a moment, Spencer trying to recover and Gideon with a worried hand on his back.

"You came back for me." Spencer sobs. His voice is scratchy and broken. Gideon scoops him up and Spencer flings his arms around the man holding him tight. He's so beautiful, shaking like a leaf, sobbing, soaking wet, and clinging to Gideon for dear life. Gideon gets them into the hallway, dragging a few towels with him. He doesn't want a soaking wet Spencer on the bed, and he can't get the boy to cooperate at the moment, and he can't very well keep holding him like this.

Awkwardly Gideon eases them both to the floor of the hallway. Spencer isn't showing any signs of being able to detach himself from Gideon and that's just fine by him. He arranges the boy more conformably in his lap stroking his hand down his back.

He manages to get one towel out of the fist full he'd grabbed and start drying Spencer's hair, it's a totally mess all tangled up and dripping everywhere. Gideon doesn't like being cold, and damp, but he doesn’t want to let go of Spencer just yet.

"Shush, shush. It's okay Spence." His kisses the top of his head and Spencer nuzzles closer to him as if trying burrow into his chest.

"You came back for me." Spencer whispered again, his voice is stronger now but he's still holding a fist full of Gideon's night shirt so tight his knuckles are white.

"I was never going to leave you." Gideon can't help but whisper back, he hugs the boy closer as Spencer sobs.

It takes quite a bit of coaxing but Spencer slowly lets go of him enough to get the towel between them. Spencer seems quite happy to let Gideon dry him off as he stands shivering in the hallway, once Gideon is done he goes back to trying to cling to the man but Gideon gently pries his hands off.

He leads Spencer to his own room where he knows he has a fresh change of clothes for himself. The boy sticks close by him but allows him enough room to discard the wet pajamas and fish new ones out of the drawer. Spencer is still shivering and Gideon is starting to worry about hypothermia. Plus he doesn't want to leave Spencer in the state he's in. Gideon maneuvers them back towards the guest bedroom. He wants to get a good look at Spencer's wrist and ankles which have abrasions on them from the cuffs.

He sits Spencer down on the bed and turns to go find the first aid kit but the boys hand shoots out grabbing ahold of him.

"Spencer you have to let me go, I'm just going to get some bandages for your wrist."

The boy's grip on him tightens. Annoyed Gideon delivers one quick slap to Spencer's face and the boy finally lets him go. Something tugs a little at his heart when he looks back over his shoulder before exiting the room. Spencer is looking at his with such naked desperation he just want to run back in and keep holding the boy.

When he comes back Spencer hasn't moved an inch, the boy looks up eyes wide. He doesn't reach out for Gideon again and Gideon thinks maybe the slap was too much. He kneels before the boy and cleans and bandages his wrist before locking the leather cuffs over them. Spencer clutches his wrist to his chest as Gideon works on his ankles, when he looks up be can see the boy stroking the soft leather and staring at him.

"You're cold."

Spencer nods even though it's not a question.

With Spencer all bandaged up be can finally enjoy this. Gideon grabs a blanket and some pillows and sets himself up on the bed. When he’s reasonably comfortable he motions for Spencer to come join him. With out a moments hesitation the boy is in his lap again. He’s a tangle of long legs, skinny arms, and sharp elbows. He huddles close to Gideon for warmth and Gideon wraps his arms around him. They don’t say a word as Gideon just holds him. It’s everything he could have ever dreamed of.

When Spencer has finally stopped shaking and Gideon has started yawning he gently untangles the boy from him. The movement brings Spencer to his senses a little and he lets go of Gideon. He seems weary as Gideon retrieves one blanket from the corner, it's thin but it will do. He leads Spencer off the bed and back to the floor on the opposite side of the bed this time, locking his limbs in place, with even less slack than before. He kneels next to him and rolls Spencer up in the blanket.

The whole time the boy watches him cataloging his every move. 

"Are you going to be good?" He asks.

"Yes sir." Spencer nods.

Gideon runs and hand through his hair and the boy leans in chasing his touch when he draws away. He wants to wrap the boy up in his arms again and hold him all night but it's impractical. Spencer could try to strangle him with the chais while he slept, or pull off another crazy plan. Plus he's being punished, seems the almost drowning had had the desired effect but that doesn't mean all is forgiven. He double checks the window, still bared shut. With a last look to satisfy that there won't be any more trouble tonight Gideon turns to go.

"Thank you Sir!" The boy squeaks out.

"Get some sleep Spence, we'll talk in the morning." Gideon locks the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for your lovely comments they really keep me going!


	12. Zugzwang

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TW for brief thoughts about Spencer's father, and self harm.

Sleep doesn’t come easy. For a long while he’s shivering so hard he wakes himself up every time he gets close. His mind as always is going a million miles a second. Replaying the events, trying to find a new plan, wondering what Gideon will do with him now.

Gideon.

All he wants to do is run as far away from the man as possible.

All he wants to do is be allowed to curl up in Gideon’s arms again.

All he wants to do is find a knife and … well he’s not quite sure if he’d use it on Gideon or himself at the moment. 

It's too much, it's too much, it's too much.

But there's no way to make it stop.

He takes a moment to let the waves of despair consume him, his mind vividly conjures up images if what it will be like to die at Gideon's hands. He's not getting out of here tonight, he's not getting out of here ever. He's going to spend the rest of his life, how ever short It may be, being tortured by Gideon. He can feel the water filling his lungs again. He can feel the cold so deep he's afraid he'll freeze before he dies. He can remembers the panic so vividly.

Then he focuses his breathing and brings himself back to earth. He lays on his back even though it's the most painful positions and he starts with his fingers. He lifts his thumb up and down a few times, then his pointer, then middle, then index. He keeps going up the length of his arm, moving up as he breaths in and down as he breaths out. It's a way to focus himself back into his body, to be aware of every inch of it. He lets himself feels every patch of bruised skin and sore muscle as he works his way through the rest of his body.

When he's done he knows what he's going to do next, it's not an escape plan, maybe maybe some day the opportunity will present it self again but he feels like any amount of false hope could break him now. His next move is born of pure desperation, he doesn't have the option to stop playing this game and so when Gideon comes back in the morning ...

The sun has been up for a full hour before he hears movement in the room next to his. Gideon is awake but he doesn't come to find Spencer right away. Spencer hears the shower turning on and suppresses a wince. He needs a bath but he doesn't think he could handle going anywhere near water for a little while. He hopes Gideon will come get him soon, his legs had started to cramp in the night and it was difficult to change change positions with the very little slack he had (every time he moved and the chain's rattled he was afraid Gideon would be back to finish the job).

He hears footsteps near the door and his heart starts to hammer in his chest. The door unlocks and Gideon steps in. Spencer had positioned himself so he could watch the door even though it left his legs twisted awkwardly. He looks up at Gideon, the man is fully dressed and takes in the sight before him for a moment.

"Will you behave?" He asks. Spencer nods quickly and then remembers

"Yes sir." His voice comes out cracked and his throat feels raw.

Gideon unlocks his hands first and then his feet, Spencer stretches on the floor, not ready to rise yet. He makes sure he's giving Gideon a good view, the man stands towering over him.

Spencer takes a deep breath and executes his next move.

He manages to rise up into a kneeling position and gazes up at Gideon. It's difficult to let his guard down but he lets all the tired, and the hurt, and the scared show through.

"Please hurt me sir."

He needs to become what ever Gideon needs the most.

He needs to be worth something to Gideon so he can stay alive.

He needs to be worth something to Gideon because he's all he has now.

For the first time since their meeting he see genuine shock on Gideon's face. The man just stands there blinking at him. Your move, Spencer thinks.

Gideon takes a knee in front of him and brushes a strand of hair from his face, Spencer leans into the touch, he doesn't even have to pretend how desperate he is for the affection. It's so much easier than he thought it would be to just give into this, let Gideon have him in any way he wants.

"Not today Spencer.” Gideon gives him a genuine smile. "I think you've had enough for now."

Spencer is sitting in one of Gideon's armchairs, he hates sitting normally so he brings his knees up to his chest hugging them close. Gideon had draped a fluffy blanket around his shoulders, all he wants to do is wrap himself in it and snuggle up tight but he doesn't want to make the same mistake he made with the sheet toga.

"It's okay." Gideon says as if reading his mind, he hands Spencer a steaming mug of hot coco and pulls up a chair opposite the small table in front of Spencer. Spencer takes a sip and finds it rich and full of sugar so he blows on it to cool it down and takes another. He keeps his eyes on Gideon to make sure he's not fucking this up and wraps the blanket around himself. Gideon nods in approval and pulls a box out from under the table.

He starts setting up the chess board with the white pieces in front of Spencer. He can't stop the small laugh the bubbles up as he realizes what 'game' they are going to play next.

"What's so funny?"

His gaze snaps back to Gideon afraid he's messed up again but the man is smiling gently.

"I don't play, never have."

"And here I thought you were a genius."

"I am, I just never played but I know the rules."

"Good, that's a start."

Gideon doesn't say anything about what happens if he looses this time and Spencer doesn't ask.

"Your move." Gideon gestures to the board. Spencer nods pulling up everything he's read on chess, there are many variations of the kind of opening move he wants to go for. He opens with the pawn furthest to his right and Gideon immediately counters. That's what he was hoping for, regardless of this mornings so far calm Gideon will play aggressively.

"Why did come back for me?" He tries to ask it casually like the answer doesn't matter when it's literately the only thing that matters right now. He fails to keep his voice even but Gideon doesn't comment.

"You didn't actually think I would kill you like that did you?" Gideon makes an aggressive play with his knight.

"It was a little hard to think straight at the time. I thought it was odd that you wouldn't want to be there to watch me die." Spencer offers up his pawn.

"So why did you think I did it?" Gideon sees past the easy deception and moves around him in position to take Spencer’s rook.

"When are you going to hurt me next?" Spencer moves his rook out of danger.

"Do you want me to?" Gideon takes his bishop instead which he didn't even realizes was also in danger. Gideon's uncomfortably close to his king.

"I want to be useful to you." He chooses his words carefully as he moves the queen ready to trap Gideon's knight.

"You don't want to die." Gideon gives a dark chuckle, he moves a pawn that's all the way on the other side of the board and Spencer takes a mental step back trying to reassess everything, had he missed something? He can't seem to find a use for that move but it feels like that first click you hear when you know you've stepped on the bear trap.

"Can you blame me?” He tries to appear calm as he takes Gideon's knight.

"No, I don't suppose I can." Gideon surveys the board.

"Hurt me, take what you need."

Gideon is silent for a long moment contemplating the board, Spencer doesn't even glance at it he's just watching Gideon's face for a reaction. And then Gideon does just what he asked for, he takes Spencer's queen.

"Check mate in two moves." Gideon says quietly. Spencer scans the board for a moment. He doesn't see what Gideon sees. Then he realizes it's not about winning this game, he never thought he really was going to although yes it is hurting his pride as a genius a little because he'd just assumed he would be good at chess. This right here is the reason Gideon brought out the game, why he's played so aggressive thus far, why he took his queen even though he know's Spencer will take his knight. He wants to see what Spencer will do next, he wants to know if he'll lay his king down. Spencer considers it for a moment, then he takes Gideon's knight. The man smiles at him.

For a moment it feels like victory than Gideon plays his bishop from all the way across the board.

"Check mate."

Spencer laughs as everything Gideon's done falls into place. The bear trap snaps around his ankle because he's so desperate to get out he pulls his foot up and it snaps around him just like it's meant to.

"I want a re-mach." Spencer’s already putting the pieces back in their places.

Spencer loose six more rounds but that's okay because he can feel himself learning, he's studying Gideon's move. The next game Gideon goes totally on the defensive trying to throw him off but Spencer isn't fooled, no matter how Gideon starts he'll aways end with perfectly calculated aggressive moves. A tiger can not change its stripes. 

"Unfortunately I have other things that need to get done today." Gideon stands after the sixth match and Spencer's heart sinks, he wraps the blanket tighter around himself. Gideon shakes his head and Spencer wants to disobey or pretend to be stupid enough not to interpret that non verbal command but he isn't and they both know that. He uncurls and lets the nice warm blanket fall off his shoulders pooling in the chair.

Gideon leads him to the basement and Spencer can't stop the full body shivers that start when he realizes where they are going. Oh god and he even asked for this. Gideon's hand on his back his steady and strong, guiding not pushing.

He's lead down a pair of oh so typical rickety stairs that creak and groan. They are rough beneath his feet and he's afraid he might get splinters. His eyes adjust slowly, the only light is from a small window on the opposite side of the basement high up in the wall. To Spencer's considerable relief the basement is nearly empty. No racks of torture devices or tables rusted with blood. The concrete foundation is rough and cold. There are three support beams close to the far side of the wall. A washer and dryer crammed into the corner. It smells earthy, and damp, and full of dust. As his eyes adjust he can make out more. There defiantly used to be things down here, there's impressions and stains on the floors indicating what was probably the usual clutter of forgotten junk and boxes. It's all so painfully ordinary save the thick chain bolted to the middle sport beam with a large metal collar attached to it. And the large dog bed, water bottle, bucket, and book next to it.

"I would have had this ready for you sooner but for some reason I haven't been getting a lot of sleep lately." He sounds like it's a joke but Spencer winces.

His mind starts racing as Gideon takes his arm firmly and drags him towards the chain. How long will he be down here? Is this ... will he die down here? Will Gideon leave and forget about him? How will he go to the bathroom? Is that ... oh god is that what the bucket is for? And probably least importantly but maybe more pressingly only one book!?

Gideon's hand on his shoulder doesn't shove but steadily pushes him down into a kneeling position on the dog bed. He stares up at the man eyes wide with fear but unable and unwilling to voice any of his questions.

The leather collar is replaced with the heavy thick metal one. It's tighter around his neck than he thought it would be, he knows logically there's enough room that his airway isn't constricted but suddenly he feels like he can't breath. The mechanism locks with a sinister click.

"I'm sorry Spence, we'll get this place looking more like a home soon." He places a kiss on his forehead and Spencer leans in desperate for the touch.

"It's okay, I understand." He forces himself to choke out.

"I'll bring you lunch, try to get some sleep."

Spencer just nods. Gideon turns to go, just as he reaches the stairs Spencer forces himself to call out.

"Thank you Sir."

Gideon turns back and gives him an odd look like Spencer is a puzzle he hasn't quite figured out.

"You're welcome Spencer."

The door to the basement shuts and Spencer breaths out a sigh of relief. He isn't going to be hurt ... yet. He stays kneeling listening to Gideons footsteps retreating, he doesn't want to move till he's sure the man can't hear the chain clicking. It's becoming his least favorite noise.

When he feels like it's safe, and he can't stand to be on his knees any longer even if the dog bed is quite comfortable, he gets up. The chain is just long enough that he can take two full steps in any direction before it pulls sharply at the collar around his neck. He sits back down and starts inspecting the collar with his fingers. It's already irritating where it sits heavy on his collarbone and top of his spine. He's breathing a little better, he can fit two fingers between the collar and his neck which is more than enough to breath he tells himself. Feeling around the collar is almost entirely smooth except for the locking mechanism in the back. It takes him a moment of investigation to figure it out. The two halves fit together with a small keyhole on the top locking them in place. He doesn't think he could pick it even if he had something to do it with.

The left the bed, bucket, book, and water.

The dog bed is well padded with a small pillow in one corner and a thin fleece blanket draped over it. He pulls the blanket over his lap, it feels good to have something covering him. It's no where near as warm as the other blanket he'd been given but it's enough that he stops shivering and it's large enough to cover his whole body as long as he's curled up on his side.

Spencer picks up the water bottle and sniffs it cautiously. He's not thirsty enough to try it yet, it isn't logical that Gideon would have poisoned him again but he's still not ready to dink. He leaves the bucket alone and picks up the book. It brings a smile to his face when he see it's The Canterbury Tales in the original text. He wonders if Gideon meant it as a challenge or if he just assumed Spencer could read it, if so he'd be more than correct. Spencer had spent a few week in high school learning how to read and speak Middle English.

Although he's read it before he sinks into the text allowing his mind to escape his current situation, for a while at least.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Updates are going to be a bit slower as life got busy but thank you all for your wonderful comments!


	13. Hurt Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Caning, small mention of child abuse, dub-con blowjob.

When Gideon finally returns he promises to hurt Spencer tomorrow and he says it like he's trying to reassure the boy. He hands Spencer a couple of sandwiches on a plate with an apologetic smile and tells him he'll be gone all day. Spencer says thank you because it's all he can think to say and he doesn't want to upset Gideon. When the man disappears again upstairs Spencer descends on the food. He has to force himself to leave the second sandwich for lunch once he wolfs down the first. It's good and he's beginning to look forward to Gideon's cooking. 

The thought of looking forward to anything Gideon related makes him loose his appetite and he pushes the second sandwich away.

The rest of the day is agony. He finds from the basement he can hear the crunch of the car's tires on the gravel driveway as Gideon leaves him. Either he trust Spencer or he's sure he won't be able to escape, probably the latter. He finally takes a drink of water and is beyond relived that it's not poisoned.

Then the waiting begins. He gets through the book twice before the sun's even down. He tries some stretches to keep his limbs from going stiff. He tries to sleep but his mind won't stop turning everything he knows about Gideon over and over in his head. There's really no one coming for him is there? Gideon's smart, too smart to get caught, he's trusted even if there was footage of them leaving the hotel together no one would look twice at an FBI agent.

It's difficult to fend off despair but he knows he has to, he's no use to Gideon if he shuts down.

Spencer focuses on his breathing again, he'd taught himself some exercises from a meditation book he'd found when he was 12. They only sometimes worked. He's alive and that has to be enough for now.

When he hears the crunch of tires on the gravel his heart leaps into his throat. He stands up, then sits back down realizing how eager he seems. Then stands up again because what the hell, this is what Gideon wants. He hears the front door open. Gideon probably won't come down right away, he probably has other things to do. Besides he promised to hurt Spencer tomorrow and he'd left him dinner so who's to say Gideon will be back today at all.

The door to the basement swings open and Spencer breaths a sigh of relief.

Gideon is smiling, dressed casually or as casually as he gets.

"How would you like a bath?"

Spencer freezes, he feels like he can't even breath for a moment.

"You said you wouldn't hurt me till tomorrow."

"It's just a bath Spencer, when was the last time you washed that pretty hair of yours?" Gideon gives him a look like a cat who got the mouse. Spencer wants to spit out that it was last night thank you very much but he holds it in. "So what do you say?"

Does he really have a choice?

Gideon's hand is on his back again guiding him upstairs towards the dreaded bathroom. Spencer can't suppress a shiver and he tells himself it's just because he's cold.

Gideon leaves him standing awkwardly in the corner of the room as he starts preparing the bath. He could run, Spencer's mind is creaming at him. If he shut the bathroom door and locked it, was there a lock on the outside? He might be able to get down the stairs before Gideon even turned around to see he was gone. He could make it out the front door, but then what? Running naked through god knows how many miles of woods? It's not like Gideon would just leave the keys to his car in the ignition.

But Gideon's turns to face him before he can decided to act, there goes that small hope.

The water is amazingly hot as his captor guides him into the large tub. It's still filling up but just the wash of pure heat that flows over his skin has him melting. He sinks down trying to submerge himself even though the water isn't any higher than his thigh yet.

Then he feels Gideon's hand on his shoulder and Spencer sits upright his breathing coming fast and suddenly desperate to get out of the water before Gideon can -

But Gideon doesn't push him down. His fingers start working their way into the tension in Spencer's back and before long he's moaning softly completely putty in Gideon's hands.

"Would you prefer if I hurt you tonight?"

He asks it like he's asking 'do you want to watch a movie tonight', it makes Spencer shiver but Gideon's hands don't stop working their magic on his back.

"The suspense is killing me a little." Spencer laughs at himself and he hears the man chuckle behind him. "Do you want to?" He can't bring himself to turn around and face the man, as long as he keeps staring at the blank wall across from him he can pretend to be brave, he can play this game where they discuss his torture casually like ... like they're a real couple. Spencer feels a stab through his heart, he'd alway told himself he'd never end up romantically involved with anyone, that he didn't need anyone. And maybe he could have believed it before this. Now his heart aches for something so desperately close to what they are in this moment.

"Spencer every time I look at you I see all the horrible things I want to do to you." Gideon's hands snake around to his throat and he holds himself still keeping his eye straight ahead. Fingers wrap around him but don't squeeze, yet. "You're so perfect it's like someone made you just for me."

He swallows around the lump in his throat and says.

"I guess it's good you found me then." He has to make Gideon believe he's worth keeping alive. Gideon's hands tighten on his throat just enough to make him feel it, Spencer focus on his breathing keeping it shallow, in and out evenly. He lets himself relax into it like it's any other touch, sinking down into the water just a little bit.

"You can hurt me tonight." Spencer hopes he sound more sure of himself than he is. He doesn't know if he can take it, what ever Gideon will come up with, but it has to be better than these mind games. It has to be better than going back to the basement alone.

To his surprise Gideon finishes washing him first. He insist on shampooing Spencer's hair himself, running his fingers through it and massaging his scalp. He's careful not to get any soap in Spencer's eyes and the absurdity of that makes Spencer burst into a fit of giggles.

He's back in the guest bedroom and he's hoping against hope if he's good tonight, if he pleases Gideon, the man will let him sleep here, maybe even in the bed.

Gideon directs him to the desk this time, his hands guide Spencer's movement's, bending him over. Gideon places Spencer's hands so they are gripping the far end of the desk. It leaves him splayed out, chest resting on the wooden surface, ass dangling over the edge. If it wasn't for his height he wouldn't be able to touch the ground. As it is he his heals can only just reach the ground if he stretches uncomfortably so he stands on his toes for now.

"Stay put." The warning in Gideon's voice is evident. He's left alone in the room, completely unbound and out of Gideon's eyesight but Spencer doesn't dare move even an inch out of the position Gideon put him in. His mind screams at him thoughts of escape and he screams back the vivid memory of sinking beneath the cold water. Today is about survival he tells himself as his grip tightens on the desk.

He looks up when Gideon enters the room again and his knees buckle at the sight of what Gideon is holding. It's unmistakably a cane, the kind used to beat disobedient school children. It's as long as his forearm and when Gideon gives it a test in the air he can hear how heavy it is.

Thwack.

The cane comes down on the desk inches from Spencer's head. His legs begin to shake but he doesn't dare let go of the desk. He's been told to stay put. This is the new game.

"Do you need to be restrained?" Gideon asks. Spencer shakes his head and then at the man's cold stare quickly adds.

"No Sir."

Gideon runs and hand down his back and he walks behind Spencer.

"If you're good Spencer there will be rewards, but if you can't keep yourself in this position," His hand reaches Spencer's ass and grips it tight, "The consequences will be far more enjoyable for me than for you."

"I understand Sir. I will be good."

"Excellent." Gideon steps back and Spencer tenses expecting any moment to feel the sting of the cane. "Now boy, what is it you want?"

Fo you to let me go! Spencer wants to scream. But it's not the answer Gideon is looking for. He has to learn to control both his body and his mind for this task.

"Please Sir. Hurt me."

Not a second after it leaves his mouth does he feel pain blossom on his thigh. Spencer gasps at the sensation feeling heat radiating out from the strike. Gideon hardly gives him a moment to recover when he hears the unmistakable sound of the can whipping through the air and connecting with his other thigh with a crack. It's much harder this time and Spencer whines out. The next hit is directly on top of the very first and that pulls a scream from Spencer. Again Gideon hits the same spot and his knees buckle leaving him handing off the desk by his trembling arms. Gideon doesn't give him time to tense when he strike that same spot for the third time causing tears to finally spill from Spencer's eyes.

It take a moment to recover any feeling or thought that isn't just pain pain pain. When he does it registers that the last stroke split his skin, he can feel a small trickle of blood running down his right thigh.

"You're exquisite." Gideon's hand is on his back again stroking him slowly as Spencer's breathing evens out. He swallows chocking back something more akin to a moan. Slowly he gets his feet under him even though the movement sends another wave of pain through him. The back of his thighs feel warm with all the blood rushing to it but he can feel where each strike fell because the skin there is cold.

It's such a different pain form anything he's ever known. His father had given his welts and split his skin before but that was more on accident. He'd been drunk once and brought out his belt demanding Spencer bend over the table so he can teach him some manners. Spencer had cowered in the corner and his father seemed to decided it didn't matter much where he hit Spencer and just started wailing on him. The belt buckle had collided with his head and mercifully that's all he remembered. He'd woken up in the hospital with a splitting headache and a nasty scar thankfully hidden by his thick head of hair.

He'd expect the pain to be like that, sharp and violent.

Instead it was sting, a radiating heat, and then throbbing like a bruise.

Gideon stepped back and Spencer had to stop himself from begging the man to go back to petting him. Instead he gripped the desk harder waiting for the next strike.

The cane traced over his ass this time and it was a relief because he was sure if Gideon struck his thighs again he might have collapsed. His ass was still tender from the first night and he could feel himself heating up as Gideon ran the cane over the slope.

Thwack.

With the little amount of fat there the pain felt deeper, less of a sting and more of thud. Gideon hadn't hit as hard but it still made Spencer cry out softly. Again, although only half as hard as it had been on his thighs. He hadn't bruised too badly fromGideon’s last assault on his ass but he could feel the skin was still tender and when Gideon grabbed a handful and squeezed Spencer let out a moan. He felt his cock twitch and his face flush with shame.

Six in quick succession each harder than the last left Spencer gasping and his legs trembling.

"God Spencer." This time Gideon's hand wound its way around his waist and reached down to his his aching cock a single stroke. Spencer keened bucking into Gideon's hand. He hears Gideon's dark chuckle but he can't bring himself to stop trying to get some friction. It’s so wrong, he hadn’t even realized how hard he was till Gideon touched him. But shame isn’t enough to stop him from saying,

"Please." He whines out as Gideon draws away again.

The cane connects with his ass hard sending Spencer sprawling, he nearly lets go of the desk but catches himself in time. Before he can get his feet under him Gideon strikes, five times full force in quick succession and all Spencer can do is hold on letting cries spill form his mouth.

He can hear Gideon step back breathing hard and he should take this moment to stand again, his arms are aching, his ass throbbing like the whole thing is one big bruise, but he can’t quite ,make his legs work yet. 

The next strike is the hardest one he's suffered so far and it connects right over another one splitting the skin again and causing Spencer's grip to finally fail. He collapses to the ground like a rag doll tears streaming down his face. There's a beat where his world is nothing but pain than panic pierces through. He was supposed to stay in position.

The panic propels him to his feet and he flings himself back over the desk even as his legs scream in pain at him.

"Please Sir I'm sorry Sir!" He cries out. "I didn't mean to, I'll be good, I'm sorry. Please, please Sir." He doesn't even know what he's begging for he just doesn't want to know what the punishment will be. He clings to the desk like a life line as he finally turns his head to look at Gideon.

The man looks more ruffled than he's ever seen him. He'd rolled up the sleeve of his shirt but one has half fallen down. His pants are straining to contain the blunge of his erection and his eyes blow wide. Spencer cowers, trembling but holding his gaze. An idea pierces through the haze of panic.

"Let me take care of that." Spencer nods his head towards Gideon's pants but he doesn't dare move till he's told too. Gideon give shim a quick nod and Spencer slides off the desk careful not to let his ass hit the floor. The skin there feels tight and hot, aching and aching and aching. Every moment is agony but he manages to shuffle right up to Gideon. He holds Gideon's stare as his hands reach up for the belt. His finger are shaking and it's difficult to make them obey enough to get the buckle undone.

Gideon still hasn't said anything but Spencer plows ahead. He brings his mouth up to Gideon's cock still trapped in his briefs. He can smell the man and it's intoxicating in a way it shouldn’t be. He feels Gideon twitch beneath him where his hands clutch at his thighs half holding Gideon still half holding himself up. Spencer hooks a thumb under the waist band and pulls until Gideon spring free.

Finally the man moves enough to let his briefs and pants fall down to his feet. He steps out of them and kicks them away still staring down at Spencer.

"Please Sir, can I-?" He can't bring himself to say it but Gideon nods anyways.

Spencer has never done this before but ... but he's thought about it often. He'd stuck his fingers in his mouth once and immediately chocked. The sensation was so unpleasant that he hadn't tried going that deep again but some nights he'd suck on his fingers and he got himself off imagining someone's cock there.

He parts his lips and takes Gideon in slowly mindful of his gag reflex. A salty tang hit is tongue and he realizes he's tasting Gideon's pre cum. He hollows his cheeks and tries to suck opening his jaw wide and trying to be mindful of his teeth.

Gideon thighs above him and his hand comes to rest on the back of Spencer's head, he doesn't push though so Spencer tries to take him a little deeper.

"Don't think this will make me forget you have a punishment Spencer." Gideon's thumb traces his throat and his hips move forward sliding deeper into Spencer's throat. He hits the back causing Spencer to retch and to his surprise Gideon retreats a little.

Grateful Spencer brings his tongue into action sliding along the big vein on the under side of Gideon's cock. For that he earn a moan. When Gideon pushes forward again Spencer's hands push him back instinctively panicking.

"Hands behind your back Spencer." Gideon warns and Spencer quickly obeys.

From there Gideon takes over, the hand on his head tangles in his hair getting a good grip before he's sliding forward. Spencer gags mouth rebelling and trying to dislodge the offending object. Gideon is patient and withdraws again but he holds Spencer in place. Spencer lets his mouth hang open trying to relax his throat and Gideon pushes forward again.

This time he still gags but it isn't a violent and Gideon keeps pushing.

"Just relax."

And somehow Spencer does.

Mercifully it only takes a few more pushes into Spencer throat, he gags and chokes as his air is cut off. The last is particularly rough and the only warning he gets is Gideon's command,

"Swallow." Before the man his spilling down his throat. It's swallow or choke and Spencer manages to do a bit of both. Gideon's fingers dig painfully into his scalp and the man moans as Specner's throat works desperately around him.

When he finally withdraws Spencer gasps for air spluttering and spitting in his desperate attempt. But Gideon is right there scooping up any cum that manages to escape and shoving it back into Spencer's mouth. He swallows and gasps for a while before he can look up at Gideon again.

“You’re so perfect Spencer.” Gideon strokes his hair and Spencer leans into. He basks in Gideon’s praise tears welling up again but this time it isn’t from pain. No ones ever treated him like this, like he’s worth something, like he’s precious.

Gideon gives him time to recover before he he’s hauling Spencer to his feet and guiding him back to the desk. Spencer holds back a sob as he obediently resumes the position.

“You’ll take five more, and you won’t let go this time.”

“Yes Sir.”

Spencer manages not to scream this time although he does whine. He’s too weak to tense up and Gideon delivers each stroke with quick precision, he only breaks the skin twice more. It’s over in a flash of pain and Spencer is still standing.

Gideon winds his arms around him drawing him up and Spencer slots himself into the man embrace letting tears fall again. He buries his face in Gideon’s chest bending slightly to accommodate his height and the man holds him tight as he slowly stops shaking.

“You did so well Spencer, so much better than I could have ever hopped for. I thought it would take months to get you to this time point but you’ve far outstripped even my wildest hopes.”

Spencer just clutches at him tighter pride welling up in him.

Gideon tends to his wounds again, the cane having left deep bruises, welts, andcuts. He finds his reward is a cream that bring the pain from unbearable to throbbing. He thanks Gideon and Gideon just smiles at him.

Gideon allows him to curl up in his lap on the couch as he reads through one of his cases. Spencer has to stay on his side careful of his ass and thighs. He’s drifting in and out of sleep with Gideon’s hand absently stroking his shoulder. He only notices that Gideon had put the file down when his hand wonders further and trails over the bruise that is his back side.

Spencer keens and holds himself still resining pushing back into the touch or flinching away he doesn’t know.

“Does it please you to know one day I will have left more scars on you than your father?”

“Yes.” Spencer whispers brokenly. It’s a horrible truth.


	14. The First Case

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's the first time Gideon has to leave Spencer alone to go out on a case.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: self harm-ish, Spencer picks off one of his scabs. 
> 
> Gideon is going to say mean things to Spencer and Spencer is going to think bad things about himself and I just want to hold him and protect him from it all but I'm the one doing this to him please send help.

It’s a full three weeks before he gets the call from local law enforcement. Unfortunately for Spencer when Jason Gideon of the FBI points the police at one of his professors (who he just so happened to have paid someone to plant a little evidence on) they don’t ask any further question. They don’t believe the dumbfounded professor when he refuses to confess. They don’t wonder why they never found his body, he’s a chemistry professor after all. The case is shut the next day.

They settled into an uneasy routine. Spencer spends his nights in the basement. He's always had trouble sleeping, his mother told him it was his over active brain just trying to keep working. Those nights he couldn't sleep growing up he'd always been able to pull out a flashlight and read under the covers till morning. The basement is cold, the dog bed is too small to stretch out on, and the blanket just barely covers him if he lays curled up on his side. But the boredom is the worst. Spencer thinks as he huddles closer, the boredom is worse than when Gideon hurts him.

Because he spends his days at the whims of what ever Gideon comes up with. He's now well acquainted with the pain of being fucked with little preparation and only enough lube to make sure he doesn't tare, and he has to beg for that privilege. Spencer has learned that Gideon likes him better that way, screaming with tears in his eyes even as he gets hard from it over and over and over again. Gideon never mockshim when Spencer inexplicable pops an erection for being touched even when that touch is hurting him, he only smiles knowingly and that’s somehow so much worse. Spencer tells himself it’s just his body’s natural reaction to fear but ever time Gideon brings him to orgasm while he’s being hurt shame and guilt grow thick in him.

He knows what the cane feels like not just on his ass and thighs but on his calves, back, and feet. The feet are the worst and he spends a whole day having to crawl around the house winching. Gideon finds it so amusing he often makes Spencer crawl now. His knees are all banged up from hours of kneeling, learning to take Gideon's cock down his throat.

Training as the man calls it. Training to be a good boy, to please Gideon, to be able to hold himself still as Gideon visits pain upon his body. His reward is Gideon's praise, his gentler touches, and books to keep him occupied. Punishments usually come in the form of more pain, or being restrained in an uncomfortable position and left alone which is far far worse. He hates being left alone. He hates wondering when if ever Gideon will come back. He hates how his whole body sags with relief when he sees Gideon again. 

When Gideon had left three days ago Spencer though it would be a great relief, a small reprieve in the life of pain he'd been living. But the boredom is finally setting in. He's read every book Gideon left him with. It’s an impressive stack and he'd had to earn each and every one by taking the full force of Gideon's belt without moving, every failure set him back a book and ever success gained one of his choosing. He'd chosen mostly criminology books, and even a few Gideon had written. But now he's been through all of them twice. His bottom still aches dully and it's difficult to find a comfortable position with his meagre six feet of chain.

Gideon left him with food for a week but promised to be back in four days. He'd rigged Spencer up a makeshift toilet by removing the grate that covered a drainage hole in one corner of the room. He had a bucket of washing water and a few towels. The man was very apologetic about it all promising Spencer a better set up was in the works. It terrified him every time he thought about it.

Spencer didn't want to die but the thought ... the thought of Gideon keeping him like this for ... god for how long? Months, years?! No he told himself firmly he'd manage an escape by then, by any means necessary.

The boredom is far worse than the pain he decides.

And the panic is worse yet as day four comes and goes and Gideon is nowhere to be found. Spencer hardly sleeps startling at every little noise in the night thinking it's the crunch of tires on gravel. But dawn comes and Gideon doesn't come with it.

Gideon had warned that sometimes cases take longer than he predicts they will. He'd said it would be like this sometimes, he's only a part-time member of the team but when they call him out on a case it's usually serious enough to take more than a day. He'd told Spencer he'd be in Virginia and the distance hadn't bothered Spencer till now.

When if he doesn't come back in time and the food runs out? Spencer starts eating smaller meals. What if something happens to the house? Fires aren't common here but it's a possibility. Thoughts of burning alive while still chained to the post plague the little amount of sleep he's able to get. He’s rubbed the skin around his neck raw just trying to reach a little further than the six foot chain would allow him

On the fifth day he finally lets himself think what his mind has been screaming since Gideon left him, what if he forgets about Spencer? It's not logical by any stretched of the imagination. The cabin, aside from clearly being a place Gideon keeps secret, is full of his personal effects and although Gideon would never admit it he’s quite sentimental. So it’s fair to say even if he stopped caring about Spencer he would at the very least return to the house. So it’s completely illogical to worry that he’ll never see the man again and he’ll simply rot away here. But worry he does.

On the sixth day his hand returns to the scab on the back of his thigh. Gideon had left him with bandages and antibiotics, he'd been more careful and only split his skin once in the past couple of days. Now left alone with so much turmoil running free in his head he feels a horrible pull in his chest. A mental itch, something in him saying how good it would feel to peal the scab away and watch himself bleed anew. He remembers vividly doing that with the cuts on his thigh when he was a teenager, watching the blood well up and knowing that every time he picked the scab it was ensuring he’d cary that scare for the rest of his life.

On the seventh day nimble fingers peal the scab away and he feels the blood drip unto his bed. He digs his fingers in and the pain feels so good, it’s raw and horrible and nothing like what Gideon gives him. 

And on the seventh day Gideon comes home.

Since the first hint of tires squeaking Spencer is on his feet pacing again. Panic sears through him. The blood had stopped but he hadn’t had time to properly bandage the fresh wound. He could …

The front door opens and footsteps approach the basement and all too soon Gideon is staring down at him. His smile dies as his eyes almost instantly find the fresh wound.

“Oh Spencer.” He just whispers softly.

Gideon takes his time bandaging Spencer up not having said a word since that first statement dripping with disappointment. He thinks Gideon must enjoy this part as well as hurting him and if he was a less apt student of criminology he might think this was remorse that Gideon was displaying. But Gideon took care of him the way he took care of all his possessions, the way he dusted every shelf, the way he always washed the dishes after use never letting them pile up, the way made sure none of his precious paintings stayed in direct sunlight and faded. He only patched Spencer up so he could continue to be useful.

Spencer was getting a good sense when he was about to be punished (or as Gideon would say ‘taught’), when Gideon just wanted to hurt him for his own amusement, and when Gideon wanted to simply spend a nice night with Spencer at his feet. Tonight would not be one of the latter and Gideon hadn’t entered with that look in his eyes that said he just wanted to see Spencer scream.

So it would be punishment and Spencer wanted to yell back that what he’d done to himself was punishment enough. Now with Gideon here he felt so foolish … so fucking broken that he’d needed to turn to this again. After everything Gideon does to him that he’d seek out more pain. He feels sick to his stomach now, replacing the calm he’d felt seeing the blood.

Being unchained is a great relief and Spencer thinks maybe he can put up with what ever Gideon has planed just for the ability to walk more than a few steps. He stumbles and Gideon is there to catch him as he always is, strong hands leading Spencer over out of the chair he’d perched on in the kitchen and towards the couch strewn living room. Spencer leans into the touch, leaning on Gideon perhaps more than he needs to. It’s been a full week, and since knowing Gideon he’s never gone that long without touch. This is one thing Gideon never punishes him for, he’s always allowed to seek comfort, he may not always be granted it but he’s always allowed to ask. For now Gideon tolerates it but he doesn’t let Spencer full sink into his arms and he doesn’t pet Spencer like he sometimes does.

“Kneel.” Gideon commends and Spencer drops to his knees with practiced ease thankful this area is carpeted. Gideon takes the couch opposite him. Spencer keeps his eyes trained on the floor suddenly realizing that Gideon had probably meant to come home to him and have a quiet evening after what must have been a difficult case for it to go on that long. Instead he’s come home to a mess to clean up. Spencer’s head sinks lower.

“Tell me why.” Gideon’s voice is so much softer than he deserves, the man should be yelling at him, or maybe laughing at his pathetic actions. Spencer’s mouth feels dry as he desperately tries to think of what to say.

“I don’t know.” He mumbles.

“Lying will only make this much worse on you boy.” There’s the dangerous calm voice that means he really fucked up. It sends a shiver through Spencer. In the past weeks he’s had to come to the grudging understanding that he likes some of the things Gideon does to him. But that tone of voice means what ever Gideon has planed it will not be pleasurable.

“I just … it itched.” Spencer tries to sound more honest. Gideon gives a long sigh. “I didn’t … I just wanted to feel something. I was bored.”That is more truthful but the silence told him Gideon still was’t convinced. “I was afraid you wouldn’t come back.” his voice breaks a little at that, at admitting his weakness, at admitting he wanted Gideon to return.

“I can't always be here for you Spence, I need you to take care of yourself while I'm gone.” Gideon begins, Spencer can tell he’s trying to put on his stern voice but underneath it’s dripping with pity. Spencer wishes he’d just get it over with and hit him. “If you can't do that you're no use to me.”

It sends a cold shiver through him the unspoken threat at the end of that sentence. If he’s not of use then there’s no reason to keep him around. He doesn’t know how to respond. 

“Spencer what do you imagine whatyour life would have been like before I came along?”

He’s so shocked he looks up. Gideon is laid back on the couch regarding him pensively. He just blinks at Gideon devoid of an answer.

“You were studying phycology but what would you have done with it? I know I know all about your IQ and your memory and how fast you read.” Gideon waves a hand dismissively when Spencer tries to open his mouth. “You’re probably much much smarter than me but you don’t do well with other people. I looked over our file, you don’t even have any friends. In fact you paid extra money that you don’t have to get a single dorm.”

Gideon leans forward, he takes off his glasses, folding them neatly and placing them on the little table next to the couch. “Any place would be lucky to have you, hell even the FBI, you could do such great things. But would your genius really be enough for them to accept you? Workplace competition is natural but who would want to compete with you? To get anywhere you have to have people who believe in you, people who like you. That big beautiful brain of your makes you a target and it alienates you from everyone,”

Spencer flinches tears sting the corner of his eyes. It’s true and he knows it deep down he’s always known it. Everyone in college hated him, even the few professors who put up with him dropping by office hours and asking endless question would have eventually grown tired of him. Who was he fooling, he’d never make any friends, not ones that would stick around for every long. He’d already known he’d never find someone to love him but he’d been okay with that thinking of all the other things he could. But Gideon was right, no matter where he went and no matter how many books he read -

“That big beautiful brain of your makes you a target and it alienates you from everyone but not from me Spencer.” Gideon slides off the couch kneeling in front of Spencer and taking his face in his hands. He makes Spencer look up at him through watery eyes. “I promised I’d take care of you and that’s just what I’m going to do. You have so much potential, I can see it in you, I know you want to be good, you like being good for me Spencer don’t you?”

Spencer nods trembling.

“Please, please, I want to be good.” He says back. “I know, I know I’m not … you should have taken someone else.” His voice cracks again and it all comes pouring out. “I’m so messed up Gideon, I never learn and I’ll always talk back. I’m scrawny and ugly and one day … one day you’ll see, I’m just not worth it.” Everything he’s been feeling the past few days comes pouring out and he knows he should never say this but some part of him just wants to … he knows Gideon will dispose of him one day and some part of him just wants to hurry along the process because waiting for Gideon to realize he’ll never be perfect for him is agony. Waiting for Gideon to realize he’s broken beyond repair, waiting for him to give up on Spencer, waiting for him to leave -

“Oh Spencer.” Gideon pulls him in close for a tight hug. “You’re not, you’re not, not to me. You’re already everything I could have every wanted. You’re so beautiful Spencer, so perfect.”

Spencer shakes his head trying to push Gideon away but Gideon just holds him tighter.

“You’ll see,” Spencer sobs out ready to play his last move, ready to make Gideon realize what he’s known this whole time, he’s not worth it, he should just be put down now.“My mother has-”

“I know.” Gideon cut him off.

“No, no you don’t.” Spencer finally manages to push Gideon off him, he stands up fist clenched. “I’m going to have a mental break just like her, it’s only few years off so no matter what I do now, no matter how ‘good’ I am or how well you train me it’s all going to come to nothing when-” He breaks off as the first sob hits him.

Gideon gets to his feet slowly.

“Spencer when I said I would take care of you I meant it. Through anything, and I mean anything. A schizophrenic break, a terminal illness, through nightmares, through bad habits, I’m here for it all.”

Spencer does the only thing he can think to finally force Gideon’s hand, he runs.

________________________________

Aaron Hotchner sighs and picks up the case file of a missing 20 year old college student. He hates these ones, he makes a few notes to check out what he believes is the most likely suspect, a chemistry teacher, but there's nothing more he can do. It's not serial, it's not linked to anything else in the area. It's only on his desk because the professor who reported the kid missing has ties with the FBI. It's been four weeks and local law enforcement can't even find a record of the last place the kid was 24 hours before his disappearance. They probably won't find him and if they do it will be his body, Aaron knows in his gut. He closes the case file and tells himself there's nothing he can do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I waited to post this till I had the next chapter written because as much as I love myself a cliff hanger I need you all to know Spencer is going to be alright-ish.


	15. Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TW: small bit of suicidal thoughts, Spencer beating himself up mentally, and scars mentioned.

He hadn’t even made it to the door and Gideon was gentle in catching him, or as gentle as one could be dragging Spencer kicking and screaming. He’s in Gideon’s lap on the couch and Gideon just holds him as he shouts and flails about. He tries to shove Gideon away and the man just holds him fast. He demands Gideon lets him go, he begs Gideon to kill him over and over and over again and each time the man just comes back with a firm ‘no’.

It must be over an hour before all the fight goes out of him and he’s limp in Gideon’s arms. Gideon finally slides out from underneath him leaving Spencer splayed out on the couch, he returns some time later, Spencer does’t know how long. He’s just waiting for it to be over, waiting for the knife to come for him, praying Gideon won’t drown him, praying it will be quick.

Gideon holds a glass of cold water to his lips and listlessly Spencer sips. As his vision starts to blur and he recognizes the effects of the poison he feels such great relief drifting off. It’s the kindest thing anyone has ever done for him.

He wakes cuddled in Gideon’s arms in Gideon’s bed in Gideon’s room. If this is his version of heaven he’ll take it, it’s fucked up beyond belief but so is he. It makes sense. He curls in closer and feels Gideon’s hand carding through his hair. Spencer makes a small content noise in his chest and just sinks into the moment. After gods knows how long Gideon puts his book down and coaxes Spence to eat some soup. Spencer wants to laugh and tell him he doesn’t need soup, he’s dead, but he humors Gideon.

The second time he wakes Gideon isn’t there but he’s still in his bed. He can feel the cuffs around him binding him there and he sighs content and falls back to sleep.

The third time he wakes Spencer is starting to think he might not be dead. He’s still in Gideon’s bed and he can feel the man right beside him giving off warmth under the blankets they share.

He stays like that for hours just getting up the mental energy to sit up. His mind is awash of so many feelings, in the background rage and sorrow and fear. But for now they all feel quite dull compared to the overwhelming feeling of -

He’s alive. Gideon kept him alive. Gideon wants him alive.

He doesn’t quite know how he feels about that yet but the feeling is welling up in his chest, expanding with every breath as it forces everything else out.

Spencer sits up and faces Jason Gideon. The man is in a luxurious red bathrobe with his glasses perched on his nose, he puts down his book and studies Spencer. Spencer stares back.

“I’m alive.” He says in wonder and Gideon simply smiles.

“I had some work done while you were gone.” Gideon is behind him with his arms looped around his waist and thank god for that because once Spencer lays eyes on the sight in the basement he nearly topples over. There’s a large cage taking up most of the space now, the bars are set in fresh cement, there’s a toilet in on corner and real bed in the other, a bookshelf and a small refrigerator.

He’s so overwhelmed he doesn’t know what to say but Gideon seems to understand as he leads him back upstairs.

“You’re really keeping me?” Spencer is perched on one of the kitchen stools watching Gideon cook, his stomach growls reminding him of what Gideon had told him, that he’d been drugged for three days while the renovations happened. Gideon hums and takes a moment away from his cooking to press a kiss to Spencer’s lips and Spencer melts into it.

He’s starting to think maybe this is the best thing that could have ever happened to him. 

As gently as Gideon had treated him while the cage was being finished he had assured Spencer that he would still be punished for his outburst. He spent some time in Gideon's bed, drugged out of his mind most of the time and waking either alone or to Gideon's hands tangled in his hair. On one such occasion The man had told him he he didn't consider Spencer's actions a true escape attempt.

"If I really thought you meant to leave me I've have no choice but to amputate those pretty little legs of yours." He's said while running a hand reverently down Spencer's calves.

So yes he'd still face punishment, he'd half expected the bath or the cane again but he found himself kneeling in front of a large ornate mirror in the living room. He'd been at it for ten minute so far and the task had seemed easy enough when they set out but was quickly becoming unbearable. Gideon had scattered uncooked rice on the floor first and then made him kneel in it, he thought this was a funny quirk of the game but it was quickly becoming the actual torture. With all his weight concentrated on his knees he could feel each individual grain of hard rice he knelt on digging into his flesh. They pain was so sharp he half wondered if they'd pierced through his skin yet. He'd begun trying to shift, take weight off one leg by putting it on the other, or lean back to take the weight on his calves rather than knee caps but even the smallest movements earned him a strike from the ridding crop Gideon held.

The man had positioned his chair behind Spencer so he had a view of every angel of his boy. He held the crop loosely in one hand and a book in the other. Although the mirror served another purpose all together. When Gideon had brought out the marker and made him stand perfectly still in the living room so he could write something on him Spencer feared the worst. He thought he could almost feel words like 'bad' and 'useless' being etched into his skin. It would be the truth and he deserved to see it.

So when Gideon had forced him to his knees and ordered him to stare into the mirror he'd done so trembling slightly and feeling another wave of pure self hate wash over him. Instead he found something very different staring back at himself in the mirror.

'Brilliant' was etched across his forehead. 'Beautiful' in big cursive letters along his chest. And smaller words too, 'useful', 'exquisite', and 'worthy' along his torso. Bellow the burn scar on his shoulder 'survivor', above the criss cross on his side 'strong', and 'curious' along the three scars on his arm. He began to tremble in earnest as his eyes traveled down to see 'talented' on his hands, 'pleasing' on his hips, and 'delicious' above his cock. Then there was 'Perfect' above the white scars on his thighs. He screwed his eyes shut.

That's when the first smack of the crop came down right on top of a welt from the cane that was still healing. Spencer yelped the shocked and pain sending him stumbling forward and scattering the rice.

"You will be picking up ever grain before we're done with this." Gideon swept the rice back towards him with his foot and getting the idea Spencer did the same scooping it with his hands and getting back into position with an ample amount under his knees. "Arms straight at your side but don't use them to take pressure off your knees." Gideon pulled the chair up behind him. "Perfect." He ran a hand through Spencer's hair and pulled sharply. "Back straight, eyes forward."

When he'd asked how long he'd received another strike for speaking out of turn but Gideon bent down and place a soft kiss on his shoulder for staying in position this time. Spencer felt himself warming under the praise and he kept his eyes on his own reflection no matter how much he wanted to climb into Gideon's lap and beg forgiveness. He was starting to learn Gideon liked his games both mentally and physically challenging and although the growing pain from the rice was always present in his mind he could feel waves of conflicting emotions as he stared at himself.

Could Gideon really think all these things about him? Brilliant, yes, beautiful was one of the more fanciful ones and easy to dismiss. He knew he was too skinny to be beautiful, slim hips and hardly an ass to speak of. His hair a mess and not in an artful 'I just woke up this way' but an unkept sort of nest, the scars on his body too numerous and stark against his pale skin to ignore. No he knew he wasn't beautiful but it didn't make sense for Gideon to write lies on his body like this.

Strong was another one be took issues with, as well as survivor. He wasn't strong, if he was strong he could have stop his father, if he was strong he could have escaped Gideon that first night. He'd been through things, that's why people thought he was strong but really it was just his life and it was just the way it was, there was no other way but through and that didn't make him strong.

As if sense his agitation Gideon spoke without looking up from his book.

"You are all these things and so much more my boy."

Spencer wanted to find the marker and etch 'broken, broken, broken' over and over in his skin but he feared Gideon's wrath enough to stay put.

"Say them back to me." Gideon placed a bookmaker in the book. The motion brought him out of his head and slamming back into his body where pain radiated and throbbed from his knees screaming at him to get up. At his stunned silence the crop came down on his shoulder, he winced but kept the position all the same.

"Brilliant." He could say he picked it first because it was at the top but really it was the easiest to say. Gideon's eyes narrowed "I am brilliant?” Spencer whispered hopping those were the words Gideon was looking for. The man reached out and approvingly caressed his hair.

"Go on." He prompted softly.

"I am b-b-beautiful." He stuttered out trying to contain the sarcasm. The crop came down this time on the top of his thigh forcing his legs to shake a little, it was agony. The movement caused the rice to shift sending blood rushing into numbed skin making him gasp and he had to force himself to hold still.

"You will continue to kneel until you can not only say but mean every word." Gideon scooted forward in the chair to be closer to Spencer, his legs framing the boy. "Continue."

"I am beautiful." Spencer muttered, this time the crop overlapped its previous spot and it took everything had not to shift again for fear of the pain. "I am beautiful." Spencer's voice was strong and he tensed for a hit but none came.

"I am useful." Another easy one, he said it with conviction this time and Gideon purred pressing a kiss into his hair and petted him softly. "I am curious." Once again his tone past muster and he could feel a sort of pride as he said it, he was curious endlessly curious about the word around him and although up until now no one had called him that it was something he secretly thought of himself. "I am talented." He'd always been naturally gifted and Gideon include his head in agreement. With that was the end of the easy ones. "I am a survivor." His voice hitched a little at the end and Gideon delivered a swift blow to the small amount of fat above his stomach. "I am a survivor." He said again a little louder forcing the words to come out smooth. Another smack going lower. "I am a survivor." This time he looked himself in the eyes making a promise that yes even if he didn't feel like a survivor in the past he could survive this. "I am strong." He said quickly this time his eyes met Gideon's in the mirror another promise that he would be strong and he would get through this. 

The crop didn't strike, Gideon trailed it lazily up to 'worthy' above his heart. "I am worthy." Spencer looked away from himself. Smack right across his nipple. "I am worthy." He found Gideon's eyes again and started at them daring him to contradict the statement. Smack on the other nipple and Spencer let out a groan. "I am worthy." This time he said it staring at himself. 

"I am exquisite." He snorted and braced for the hit which came to his other nipple. "I am exquisite." He breathed out in a hiss and was hit again. "I am exquisite." He snarled and before he'd even got all the words out the thwack of the crop sounded and pain blossomed along his chest. Staring in the mirror breathing hard he could see the red marks stark against his skin like the colors from an impressionist painting. "I am exquisite!" he insisted, he wasn't a Monet but he could be a Goya.

Gideon bent to press a kiss into his shoulder, he allowed Spencer to lean back into and Spencer moaned as his shifting caused more pain to course through his legs. Through hooded eyes he scanned his body looking for what was left. "I please you." He changed the script a little and felt Gideon hum into his skin but the man let it pass. He felt a blush creeping up his face as his eyes landed on the one above his crotch. Gideon flowed his gaze as the crop traced down his body stoping right above the word.

"I am delicious." It sound ridiculous even to his ears. Spencer gasped as Gideon struck tender skin above the small crop of curly hair. "I am delicious." he raised his voice but that wasn't enough to do the trick and he shuttered as the crop landed a centimeter lower. "I am delicious." He tried to insist but clearly Gideon was growing impatient and this time he struck hard right onto Spencer shaft. The boy keened hands coming up trying to protect himself but they were swatted away by the crop, if it wasn't for Gideon's legs bracketing him he would have surly fell again. "I am delicious." Again he stared at Gideon hard conviction strong in his voice. That earned him a comforting hug as Gideon leaned forward wrapping himself over Spencer's shoulders like a cloak and obscuring most of the words expect for.

“Sir please.” He wanted this to be over with so he could get up, so Gideon could embrace him properly, so he rub feeling back into his aching knees. Gideon gave him a pointed look.

"Perfect." He whispered screwing his eyes shut bracing for another hit and praying it wouldn't be in the same spot again. Nothing came, he let the seconds tick by each one more afraid that Gideon would tire of his inability to follow orders and simply start beating him until he'd learned his lesson. Gideon remained slug over him, resting his chin on Spencer's shoulder but his hand moved up Spencer's body mapping out the tissue and muscles, running along each one of his ribs and tracing the planes of chest up until his fingers closes around his throbbing nipple. Spencer gasped and arched into the touch as Gideon rolled the sensitive bud between his fingers his other hand joined the first in its task with Spencer's left nipple. The boy shuttered as although his knees screamed at every hint of movement he leaned back a little pressing into Gideon. The pressure became more and he whimpered as it turned to pinching.

"Open your eyes." Gideon's voice was soft in his ears and he didn't dare disobey. He cracked his eyes open to see the sight before him. He was arching up into Gideon's touches presenting himself shamelessly for the man, his body a mess of black marker, red marks, and white scars. Tears gathered at the corners of his eyes and his mouth hanged open lips sore from being bitten. Gideon's eyes racked over him in the mirror taking it all in with wonder, delight, and hunger. Staring at Gideon he choked out. "I'm perfect."

Gideon pulled and twisted nearly causing Spencer to rise out of his position.

Spencer gazed into his own eyes and sob out. "I am perfect." He held his own gaze not even giving a thought to Gideon's reaction because for the first time this one he'd said for himself and himself alone.

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6 months later that same professor is still making calls to Aaron’s office, he's got some other cases he thinks might be linked but they are all over the county, sporadic, and some even already attributed to other killers. Different weapons, different motives, different places, the only thing that seems to link them is they all look something like Spencer Reid and they all involve torture. He's seen this before, someone gets it in their head that the death of their loved one must be special, must be connected to something larger. They go looking for patterns and of course they find them. He tells Professor Buch he'll look into and he can tell the man doesn't believe him but he has the case files (or at least those he'd manage to get local law enforcement to give him a look at) sent over. Aaron promises himself he'll look at them on the plane ride over but he fails to keep the promise.

________________________________

It’s one of those cases that Gideon is consulting on from home, he’s been doing that a lot more often recently and Spencer is endless grateful for that. It means he gets to spend more time with Gideon and less time locked in the basement. Although there have been many improvements with his living situation, a real bed, tons of blankets to nest in, room to walk around in, the boredom is still the worst part. There just aren’t enough books in Gideon’s house to keep him occupied when the man goes off on cases.

Gideon’s on the couch nursing a glass of wine while reading through the case files and Spencer is trying desperately to be okay with just sitting at his feet. He’s even allowed to lay his head on Gideon’s lap and receive the occasional pet. He’d been very very good tonight, Gideon had used the knife on him making long thin marks that would scar over nicely. He’d held perfectly still the whole time.

So maybe it was that he felt like he deserved a reward, although he told himself to be allowed to sit with Gideon like this was reward all on its own. Or maybe he’s still a little annoyed that Gideon had left for a whole week again and forgot to change out the books he’s allowed to read.

“Sir?” Spencer looks up at Gideon trying to effect his best puppy dog eyes, they don’t always have the intended effect and sometimes a look like this would just get him slapped till he cries but tonight Gideon smiles back fondly and runs his fingers through Spencer’s hair. He inclines his head indicating the boy has permission to speak.

“Would you read to me? From the case you’re working on?”

Gideon stares at him a moment and Spencer works hard to make sure he doesn’t tense up, even if Gideon slaps him for requesting something so stupid it won’t do him any good to pull away preemptively. After a long moment Gideon flips back to the first page and begins to read.

“Wait, say that part again.” Spencer sits up a little more, he’d been half dosing with his head in Gideon’s lap and his mind working the case over in the background. A word can caught his attention. He freezes up realizing he’s spoken without permission and Gideon’s hand tightens in his hair. “Permission to ask questions sir?” Spencer says weakly all too late.

Gideon hauls him by his hair dragging Spencer onto the couch awkwardly so he can deliver a harsh slap to the boy’s pretty face, already bruised in several places. Spencer takes it lip trembling a little and hands fisted at his side not daring to try and protect himself. But Gideon seems to decided that it’s enough for now and he releases Spencer but keeps him on the couch.

Gideon nudges the file towards him and obediently Spencer folds his legs up into the position he’s been told to sit in on the rare occasions he’s allowed on the couch. Delicately he flips through the pages till he finds the one he’s looking for.

“You have permission to say what ever’s on your mind, thank you for asking even if it was a little late.” Gideon’s in a good mood tonight.

“Here.” Spencer pulls up a description of the crime scene and finds the matching photo. “There wasn’t a watch found on the body but it was with the victims things when the coroner was done with him, it says here it was found in his left pocket. I think they need to dust it for finger prints.”

Gideon takes back the file scanning everything over.

“Spencer you’re a god damn genius.” Gideon pulls him in for a long slow kiss and Spencer melts into, climbing into Gideon’s lap when prompted. Gideon holds him for a moment just staring in launder at him.

“After I’ve given you a nice long fucking as a reward would you like to look over some more case flies?”

“Yes Sir!” Spencer grins letting himself be pulled back into more kissing as Gideon grabs a handful of his ass and squeezes casing Spencer to gasp and deepen the kiss. Gideon works his way down till he’ nipping at Spencer neck bringing new marks to the plethora already there causing Spencer to moan and hold on to Gideon tighter but in the back of Spencer’s mind he’s already going over everything he’s ever read on criminology excitement thrumming through him for the first time and in a long long time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for sticking with me on this emotional rollercoaster that has lasted far far longer than I thought it would when I set out. There is still more to come! 
> 
> The rescue party is on their way but Spencer is far from being out of the woods just yet.


End file.
